Sunday, January 18, 2009

Dear God,

We held our Leadership Retreat Saturday, my last. I looked over the crowd of maybe 30 people and I could see the transformation that has taken place in the last few years. Within each one I witnessed your sweet spirit. There has been a deepening of faith, a centralizing of that which is the spiritual driver of life.

I made my presentation and then for the most part stepped back, allowing them to do their work. As I walked out of the room the Futuring Task Force was at work without me. When I looked at them I realized I trusted in their abilities, their faith, their vision, their determination. I was and am moved and inspired by their spirit.

As I drove away from the church, a quiet joy welled up within me. I have made a difference in the church. Not that I am the power behind the change. You, alone, O God, are the power of any transformation. Not that I have browbeaten people to change. And not that I even had the ability to massage people's faith to see the need for change. It just seemed to happen. A beautiful changing for you.

As a pastor it took a long time to ascertain the truths and realities the church was living under when I first came. I knew in my heart I had only two things to offer: my love and yours intertwined together and my spiritual leadership. Through the difficulties of change and hardship, you were the only one I could turn to, the one who would provide the guiding help I/we needed. Through my tears, you kept my feet in place. You whispered the words and essence of faith. You provided me a pathway albeit sometimes scary, a pathway to the future. You handed me a rod symbolizing your presence and I have carried it with me the whole way. You have helped me take the steps toward the future knowing I would not enter with them.

Today was a kind of reckoning for me, a good one.

Trusting you
along life's pathway
has given me
courage and strength.
I felt
the payoff
for my trust
in you
and your trust
in me.
Like Simeon
I have waited
for the day
when I would see
the Savior.
Today I saw you
in each one.
What glory
filled my heart.

Love, Andrea