Thursday, July 23, 2009

Dearest God,

I prayed, "O Lord, let forgiveness weave itself through my body as I sleep." Forgiveness is not easy; it is a hard task when the heart has been wounded, when the mind has to finally accept a painful truth, when the spirit has to begin living a new way. Oh dear, it is so difficult.

But forgiveness is also freeing. All the pent-up emotions can be released, erasing the hardships of life. Forgiveness is the way out of darkness. It is the path to healing and wholeness. Forgiveness opens the curtains, shades and windows in a darkened room. Forgiveness reduces the burdensome weight that is being daily carried. Forgiveness cleanses the soul of unwanted, unnecessary crap that keeps the whole person unsettled, unresolved, and troubled. Forgiveness stills the troubled heart, unleashing a new wave of peace and serenity. Forgiveness offers a deep breath of hope.

I hold on to the hurts and disappointments of the past. Instant replays are nothing new to me. I see the scene, the players, the words, gestures and suffering that follows. Why do I do it?

I think of the alternative. Let go, surrender, release, move on, walk away, be finished. Not only do I have to leave the scenario behind, I have to let go of the person. Not always but after more times of sorrow than can be counted, the time comes when moving on is the only way. But what happens when the person is someone you have loved for a long time, how do you walk away forever?

Bitterness can
be crippling;
it slowly hardens
a soft heart.
It is hard
to forgive.
Do you
find it difficult
to forgive me?
Do you
shake your head
remembering all
my transgressions?
Forgiveness is the
sweet scent
of grace.
Help me,
I pray,
walk on alone
practicing forgiveness
along the way.

Love, Andrea