Saturday, August 29, 2009

Dearest God,

Life is so different from the picture I had nearly two years ago. I had imagined this period in my life. I had dreamed of this time, how life would be and with whom. Family and friends. Where I would be, what I would be doing. But circumstances have changed and life is unfolding very differently.

Was the picture one of my own? Was it simply a dream I had hoped would magically come into being? Did I really believe the image that I held onto all this time?

Sometimes a picture can help give shape to the future. As a participant in my future I can help to make the picture a reality. But what if your picture and my picture do not match up?

As I drop back to think of your will, your way, and your plan for my life, I realize once again that life is not always a pretty picture. Sometimes my expectations are too high and my painted canvas is unrealistic. Sometimes I place my hope in someone or something hoping and praying that something new will bubble into existence. What I fail to take into account is that like the bible says new wine will never work in an old wineskin.

You and I paint life pictures together. You reveal all the colors, textures and possibilities. Then you place me before the blank canvas urging me to paint, to color, to draw. Sometimes I can see only small things to create but the next moment I envision a wide range of colors blending together to make a wondrous creation. In those moments as an artist of my own life, I see your hand beneath mine. I see how you have lead me, creating something anew. In such moments I pause to give thanks because I know my creation is not my own but ours.

O God,
give me
the mind
of your Son.
Let me paint
his pictures
in the world.
Where there is
only darkness,
let me
paint light.
Where there is
only ugliness,
let me
paint beauty.
Where there is
only sadness,
let me
paint gladness.
Let me work
with you,
Great Creator.
Reveal to me
the picture
in process
that we may
paint together.

Love, Andrea