Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Dearest God,

I recognized something this morning as I awakened at the campground. The sun had not yet risen. The sky was gray; yet, I could see the woods all around me. Leaves beginning their annual autumn trek. All was quiet. Only one other person nearby was awake walking to the bathroom like me.

As I took in the early morning beauty, I remembered last night. Although the moon was full casting its shadows among the tall trees, it was very dark. I walked without my flashlight to the bathroom thinking I could easily find my way back to the campsite. After all, the bathhouse had lights and I was only three campsites away. But when I walked out and took a few steps, I suddenly lost my way. I walked between two trailers that had lights strung across them. When I got to the paved road, I looked around and still was not sure where I was headed. Then I heard my friend’s voice and saw the light. I was just a few yards away.

This morning as I recalled the incident I was struck by the knowledge that when the light is shining, I can see everything around me in great detail. But when I am in the darkness, I only look for the light.

I thought about these last painful months when suffering ushered me into a time of great darkness. The darker my suffering the more I looked for the light. I was not in the slightest bit interested in anything else I might be able to make out. I only desired the light. As I trusted the light more, the less the darkness frightened me, the less hold it had on me, the less power it swayed. The light meant more to me in the darkness than the light of day.

My prayer these days is one of greater trust. I yearn for a trust in you that is second nature, one that breathes with me. I long for a trust where my first breath each day whispers, “Guide me, O Lord, lead me in your way.” I want that trust to lead me to you like the darkness lead me to the light.

Guide me,
Great Jehovah,
lead me
to you
whether in
great darkness
or in
the light.
Be the beacon
that calls out
to me.
Make my
inward parts
ready to
answer the call,
to find
my way,
to follow
the light
that always
leads me home.

Love to you great light, Andrea