Wednesday, December 2, 2009

My dearest God,

I lost my ability to communicate. For some reason I couldn't speak the language any more. No matter how hard I tried I didn't know the nouns, verbs, adverbs and adjectives of the English language. I couldn't get my point across and I could not understand the other.

I have traveled to many parts of the world and for the most part I could not speak the language. I could not communicate with people of other cultures and nations. We could not communicate with one another.

Lord, I know there is a language that lovers speak, that parents and children speak to each other, that spouses speak and friends speak to one another. Each knows the special codes like when parents want to convey to children that they need to settle down at a restaurant or a spouse does a particular gesture to communicate his or her love to their partner. They speak a common language.

When I lost my ability to speak a common language, it was a terrible feeling. It was like I didn't know the words or how to use them, how to string them in a sentence that made sense. I have always used my hands when I spoke and even my hands lost their way.

Because I know how difficult it is to lose the ability to communicate, it is nearly miraculous to recover the ability. Recently I found my language. I not only know how to speak it, I understand it when someone else speaks to me.

At times, O Lord, I have lost my ability to pray, to talk to you about others, to lift names to heaven. I have even had difficulties understanding you when certain things happened, like when I lost my capacity to speak and to listen, to understand and be understood. In those moments I couldn't make any sense of my world.

But I am speaking again and understanding. I am listening, catching the nuances and the meaning. I am giving thanks in a new old way.

Thank you,
Gracious God,
for the ability
to listen,
to hear,
to understand
and then
to speak,
and be understood.
I am
so grateful,
Loving God
for this
act of grace.

Love, Andrea