Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Dear God,

I have learned to wait. You have taught me not to give in to impulse but to wait. Traveling in Africa revealed a life dissimilar to America. No one seems to be in a hurry. No decisions are made quickly. People take their time.

You have disclosed to me that the most important things in life need time to germinate, to take root, to grow, bloom and blossom. Today I experienced the fruits of my waiting. What you have shown me is that waiting teaches patience and patience grows simplicity, peace, and joy in the present moment. If I act upon every impulse, I will forfeit opportunities to grow in grace, trust and hope.

When I was so busy working in ministry, carrying heavy duty burdens, laboring to make changes, keeping up my household, paying bills, relating to family, I lived with a sense of urgency. Everything had to be done right now, this minute. That's the way I lived my life for many years.

Now, I no longer choose to live with a sense of panicked frenzy. Although to others I may have looked calm on the outside, my insides were generally in a quiver. Not so any more. A virtual collapse changed all that. You have imbued me with a quiet peace, showing me the value of waiting, trusting, and living simply.

Waiting gives me a freedom that not waiting does not. It lets me wander, thinking of options in life. It helps me savor the glorious moments each day affords. It lets me cherish life around me. I don't have to be caught up in maneuvering something in order to get what I want but rather waiting allows me time to remember that you have a plan for my life and for others. If I wait on you to unfold your plan, chances are I will follow it rather than my own design. Waiting gives me yet another chance to trust, be grateful and live in hope.

Teach my soul
to wait
upon you,
Loving God.
Show me
a vision
of eternity
that calls me
every day
to a
higher form
of living.
Let patience form
within me
that I
may trust more,
anticipate your movement,
and live
with greater joy
to serve you,
Glorious Redeemer.

Love, Andrea

Monday, March 29, 2010

My dearest God,

St. Francis holds prayers from a five year old. Last week I kept my granddaughter for a couple of hours while her mother went to the gym to work out in preparation for the mini marathon. As I labored in my contemplative garden, Stella wandered the area looking for worms (her favorite thing), shiny rocks (polished stones) and heartstones (rocks that have weathered to look like hearts). As she found each treasure, she cried out to me, "Grandma, Grandma, look!"

Some years ago I began purchasing polished stones from State Parks. Blue, purple, coral, yellow, black, brown, many colors of the rainbow now lay hidden in my garden for my grandchildren to find. It is one of their favorite activities to do at our home.

A few years back I started finding heartstones in Maine along the eastern sea coast. And then I stumbled into them at Christ in the Desert Monastery in New Mexico so I started collecting them. This week I found a number of these gems in my own garden. I showed them to Stella. She was wowed by them. When she found a particular one, she brought it to me. "Grandma, this is half a heart." She said. "Perhaps that's a broken heart." I replied. "Oh, yeah!" She responded.

As my red-headed granddaughter found the precious wonders, she asked if she could put them by St. Francis, a two and a half foot statue of St. Francis of Assisi, a birthday gift from my husband. When I told her each stone represented a prayer, she took her prizes and knelt by him audibly praying aloud for people and the world as she lay each stone down. He now has rocks in each hand, in his cowl, at his feet and by his side.

Looking out on the garden, I watch as this great saint holds prayers from a child. I've never moved them because they are a visible reminder of the need to pray for others, to come to you like a child, to love enough to pray, to believe that prayers make a difference, and to be calm knowing that prayers are being offered somewhere in the world all the time, 24/7.

There is a peace in my garden, a tranquility where bewildering, angelic events take place. I don't see visible figures walking through my contemplative garden but I know they are there to bring quiet, joy, hope, comfort, faith and love. Per chance Stella was aware as she knelt and prayed.

O God,
Great Source
of All Good
and Beautiful Things,
I too kneel
at your feet
giving thanks,
expressing my
own love
and devotion.
Bless, I pray,
the prayers
of my granddaughter
as she
so easily
offered them up.
Thank you,
thank you.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Dear God,

Today I want to thank you for all persons of faith who have lead me to the doors of eternity! As I think of Palm Sunday I wonder if I would have been one of those to join the party, the entrance into Jerusalem. Would I have thrown down my only coat so the savior-bearing animal could walk across it. Would I have waved palm branches hailing your ministry even if I did not fully understand what lay ahead? Would I?

It seems to me the walk of faith begins on the road where someone else is continuing. Somehow those whose faith is won share it and others are drawn to it. Perhaps it is the joy a pilgrim carries although he or she is in a time of darkness. Maybe it is their grasp of greater spiritual freedom rather than worldly possessions. Per chance it is the calm one wears upon their face during storms. Maybe it is the way they love, forgive, give mercy, act out of compassion or give to others. Maybe it is their trust in you and the courage they exhibit in very difficult times or the way they choose to live their life morally, ethically, spiritually. I don't really know; possibly, it's all these things.

Throughout my nearly 64 years people of faith have invited me to join your party. I've never been wrestled to the ground to participate or forced to accept your friendship or to believe a set of rigid beliefs. Rather it has been through the gentle breeze of your spirit revealed in the lives of your followers that I am mesmerized, pulled toward you. Walking in the light of your son is like a butterfly being drawn to nectar and drinking. So beautiful is the act of faith.

I want to join the celebration but more than that I want to go the distance, all the way. I want to free myself up from all encumbrances that potentially rob me of greater loyalty. When tempted to follow lesser gods, I let go of the more beautiful gifts in life. I grab hold of shiny tinsel that will lose its glitter in no time at all. In a very short period of time I will suddenly wonder where my joy went, when and where it left me. I want to follow you to every rise, hill and valley wherever faith will take me. And why? Because I believe you came to transform the world and one person at a time.

Today
I sing out
my own hosannas
to you,
king of kings
and lord of lords
for all
the spirit travelers
who have
taken me in,
shown me
the way,
offering me
a portion
of their
hope, peace,
mercy, grace
and love.
Praise to you,
Holy God;
thank you
for every transformation
in my life.
May I
always be pliable,
flexible, willing
to bend
to your will.
May I
remain on
the spirit path
befriending others
to join us.
May I
always show gratitude
for those
hearty journeyors
whose hunger
and thirst
for you
never ceases.
Bless them,
dear Lord,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, March 27, 2010

My dear God,

As you know, Great Redeemer, my number one goal is to be faithful. I want to live my life being faithful to you.

Yesterday I continued to pluck weeds from my contemplative garden. What a hard job! Some weeds have roots that I swear wind down to China. It seems like no matter how far down I dig, I can't quite get to the bottom of the root. Eventually I break it off. I know the weed will return to annoy me once again.

So I bought Preen, the weed preventer. In order for it to work, I have to rid the garden of every visible weed and then spread the preventer on top of the soil. Supposedly it will eradicate most weeds. We'll see.

Is there a soul weed preventer, Lord? How often have I worked to purge unwanted weeds in my life? I work and work but at times the root is so deep that when I am able to pull it, it breaks off leaving a remnant that I will have to contend with another time.

In the quiet solitude of my backyard, I sat among my budding flower bulbs, evergreens and rock pond scooping out dead leaves that fell into my tiny pond during autumn and winter. That got me to thinking. Is faith and trust in you a weed preventer? Is it possible that a growing faith, a greater trust help to alleviate some of the weed power? Is my ability to focus on you a deterrent to weeds taking hold of my being?

I return to the truth revealing to me the need to focus on you. When my eyes stray away from you for even a short time, I can forget the power I possess to resist temptation, to give in to emotions, attitudes or beliefs that can do damage to my soul. But when I focus on what is invaluable, consistent, helpful, and recharging, I am able to stop worrying about that teeny bit of remaining weed. What makes the difference is that my trust in you, my faith in your mighty power and my desire and ability to pray for my weakness is enough to help me through trials, doubts, fears or self wondering.

As I labored to clear my meditative garden of clutter, I prayed for my own soul's garden, calling upon you to keep my eyes upon your divine presence.

You are
most high,
a sacred mystery
in my life,
Gracious God.
You hold
eternity's love power
that dissolves
the weeds
that collect
in my soul.
As I
open my spirit
more and more
to you,
Mighty One,
I am freed
from hanging on
to weeds
that want
to destroy
what is
beautifully made
by you.
Keep my eyes
on heaven,
Precious Friend;
may your light
hold my focus
now and forever,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Friday, March 26, 2010

My dearest, dearest God,

Oh my gosh! My goodness! I have been on the patio washing down my patio furniture. I've been cleaning it, removing dust, dirt and debris and then setting it on the side of the patio that has already been cleaned. It was in the midst of doing this mundane activity that a vision came to me. I am certain, very certain it came from you.

I was thinking about miracles, how you raise the dead to new life. I realized that what is dead is dead; it never rises again. Flesh rots, the old bones break apart and become dust. What does come following death is a new creation. St. Paul wrote about this new creation when he wrote to the church in Corinth. "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away." I love Eugene Peterson's translation from the Message in 2 Corinthians 5:7)

That's what got me. In my vision I saw a figure drive to a cemetery, take out a shovel and go to their own grave. The person began to dig until the shovel hit the top of the coffin. That's when the person got something heavier to break open the casket and rip off the lid. Then the person climbed into the open box attempting to lift the dead body and then cried out, "How dare you act as if you are dead!"

How positively absurd, morbid and disgusting! A dead body is dead, decaying, going back to the dust of the earth just as it is destined to do! However, what came to me was the attempt we make to go back to what is past, what is dead, what is gone and try to resurrect it, giving it energy, life and power today. Can't be done unless we lie to ourselves, try to persuade others to believe the dead still exists, give power to a nonexistent person, place, happening or thing and allow it to trigger fresh new pain and suffering! If I am in Christ and a new creation I cannot possibly return to my dead body or my dead past. It is already dust.

Everytime I return to the guilt of my past or give power to something that hurt me a long time ago and is over, finished and done, repented, grace accepted and new life begun, it is like dragging my body out of the grave and saying," Who in the hell told you you could act dead?" A new creation is a new creation. Yesterday is past and gone, never to be relived. Any time I try to go backwards to something that happened days, weeks, months and even years ago and make it as if it is real today, I am foolish, crazy, in fact, insane.

When I am tempted to return to the past instead of living fully today as a new creation, it is just like returning to the grave and being angry that the dead is acting dead. I realize when we go along with others who want the past to be the present or we ourselves want to make the past the present, we are giving in to believing that what is dead is full of life and energy. Only crazy people should believe that!

We believe that we can make the dead alive simply by talking continuously about it and trying to project on others blame, judgement and guilt. As long as we or I live to believe and act from the past then the past will be the present and past hurts will provide fresh wounds or I can simply say, "This is crazy! I love the new creation, feels good! Want to join me for a hot fudge sundae in celebration?"

O God,
how good
you are
to remind us
that the past
has no
power or energy
to destroy us.
Grace lets
the dying
finally die
and provides
the means
by which
new life
can come.
When we
dip into
the past
that grace
has erased,
we fool ourselves
and grab hold
of lifeless gods
that seek
to ruin us,
robbing us
of your
life-giving power
and grace-filled love.
Oh,
dear God,
how grateful
I am
for today's
beautiful vision!

Yours forever and ever, Andrea

Thursday, March 25, 2010

My dearest God,

Sometimes I think what I write you is totally redundant; you know everything. Yet, my continuing to share with you my daily discoveries of your glorious presence keeps me in daily communication with you. What is the most meaningful part of our 24 hour sharing is that I know I can tell you anything. I know you are listening. However, it may be that it is not so much about you listening to me as much as my listening to you as you daily awaken my senses. What I see, hear, touch, taste and smell is your doing. I just write about it, giving you praise for the wondrous experience.

Today I participated in a miracle. It was your work; I simply joined in the effort. I felt privileged to share in this unfolding mystery, awakening a friend to your almighty power. His openness and willingness to follow your lead is directing him to a new life, one better than before. I do believe that we shall see a new man, father, husband and friend develop, this man who has been aching to come to life for decades. What a marvelous, beautiful adventure he is embarking upon.

I believe it is true that when one person encounters a miracle taking place in their life that it opens the door to the possibility of miracles in the lives of others. I have witnessed that time and again in my covenant group. As we observe faith come to life or hope or forgiveness in a time of great hardship, we are each one benefactors of greater faith coming to life in the rest of us. We find courage to move forward knowing first, it is possible, second, you desire it, third we can open ourselves to it and fourth we have support in the transformation. Incredible, remarkable, glorious!

What can I say but share my insight and my gratitude day in and day out?

You are wonderful,
a delight
to my
joy-filled soul,
dear God.
I watch
with great interest
your resplendent majesty
at work.
There is
no god
like you.
My heart
is full
of gratitude
and wonder,
my Great and Beautiful God!

Love always, Andrea

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Dear God,

I am happily singing in our church choir. Whenever I know it is choir rehearsal night, I am excited to sing. Tonight we sang through ten pieces of music because we are preparing for Holy Week.

There are two songs that cause me to close my eyes and sing without music. God So Loved the World and the Hallelujah Chorus are two of my favorite songs. They always transport me back in time to the 1960's and to a high school gymnasium in Anderson, Indiana where I sang these songs the first time. I was either in the eighth or ninth grade and I sang in our school choir. We learned the songs at our school and then joined other students from surrounding county schools. By the time we came together we sang with hundreds. I will never forget my feelings when we sang these two songs. What a testimony of faith! I felt as if I was singing to Jesus.

Now I revel in joy when we practice these songs for Good Friday. If it is true that we are singing to Christ, the redeemer, then I have been singing my faith for fifty years. Fifty years! Wow!

What a privilege
to sing
to you,
Glorious and Loving God.
Fifty years,
fifty years
of joy
worshipping and
loving you.
Thank you,
thank you
for the special joy!

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My dear God,

What is hope but a profound trust in you? How can anyone hope in something that seems impossible? Perhaps hope does not lead us to what we hope for but rather guides us to a deepened relationship with you.

When I hope for something specific and do not attain my desired outcome, I may feel as if I hoped wrongly or that I did not have enough faith power to grasp it. If on the other hand, I hope in you and your will for me, then I shall find myself at your feet grappling with your desire, your plan for my life.

When I say I hope, I am really saying I trust you, Lord, I trust you. My hope then is not in something but in someone. That someone is you.

May I
always hope
in you,
Gracious God.
Let my desire
always be
an awakening
of faith
in you,
not in
something less.
Keep my eyes
on you,
dear God;
allow me
to forever
behold you
and your will,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, March 22, 2010

Dearest God,

I have been on a search for you nearly my whole life, close to 64 years. Almost five years ago I began an intentional trek to look for you every day and report back my findings. What I discovered early on was that the journey was not really about me uncovering you as much as you revealing yourself to me, to others, to the universe. Each day as I prepared to write, I found that the themes, topics, ideas, and visions really came from you. This blog has always been about you.

One of your early whisperings to me had to do with how to experience faith and how to pass it on to others. Faith is not something I learned on my own. I can take little credit for any part of it. I had teachers, mentors and models, even situations that taught me spiritual truths. Along the way, I simply said yes to you and faith came to life in me.

I realized again today how courage is kin to faith. In a memorial service for a humble Christian man, I listened to his son's eulogy when he talked about his father as a courageous man. He defined courage as "fear prayed up." That made me think when I am courageous or I act courageously, I am trusting you to help me rise to do something I may feel I am not quite capable of doing on my own. When I am afraid and take a courageous step forward to do the thing I think I cannot do alone, I feel a divine strength. Faith is borne in such a movement. As I operate out of faith and courage, like the humble man, I too pass along faith to others.

As I am obedient to your lead, I am confident that faith will find me more and more often. I will be captured by the revelation of your presence, your loving ways, your healing power, your miraculous bending of history, your helpful challenges, and your transforming abilities. As I allow myself to be moved by you, others will be moved, inspired as well.

You are
power exemplar.
You hold
the power
of faith
and love,
the same thing.
I am
so grateful
that my quest
for your presence
always leads me
to you,
Glorious and Wonderful God.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, March 21, 2010

My dearest God,

I was with you today in church! If there was ever a time I saw your son walking among the people, it was today!

This morning I went to Camp Hunt, a ministry of Wheeler Mission, a caring outreach for recovering addicts. I wanted to participate in the graduation worship service for a young man I've known for 20 years. Aaron, a heroin addict, had been part of the program for ten months. Ready to fly away on faith, I wanted to share in the grand celebration with his parents, grandparents and friends.

The chapel was packed with 20 recovering addicts, staff, family and friends of 5 graduates. We filled the 150 seat sanctuary. The rest of the space was brimming over with your spirit. I've never seen such a happy place with so many happy people. Perhaps they believed the sign high above the altar which proclaimed Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths."

To begin the service a recovering addict stood and read from the psalms. "O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his steadfast love endures forever." There were hoots and hollering from the congregation. "Yes! Thank you, Jesus! Uh, huh!" And then we began to sing, "Jesus paid it all; all to him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain; he washed it white as snow." I listened as the sinners whose stains had been washed away sing, expressing gratitude for their own gentle cleansing. Tears streamed down faces as we acknowledged your work in our lives. I'd known your washing myself, not from drugs but plenty of other.

And then the men came up, one by one with their families. They introduced family members and began sharing their own stories. They made confessions, taking responsibility for hurting others, for lying and stealing. They asked for forgiveness and made commitments to follow the One who had saved them from themselves, Jesus, lover of sinners.

After everyone had said what they needed to say, we made our way to the nearby lake to participate in a funeral and a baptism. Although it was cold, wet and breezy, the graduates and staff stood before us at the edge of the water clad only in shorts and tee shirts. Each man participated in giving us the reason for their baptism. Basically they wanted to take the old man and leave him at the bottom of the lake to die, making way for the newly resurrected man to rise up out of the water and into a new life. When they had finishing yielding to Christ, they all walked into the water together, the 5 men slipping under the renewal waters of baptism. What contented, joyous faces rose up to live again.

Open hearts,
ready souls
and your
amazing grace
met in
the waters
of faith
this morning,
Precious Lord;
I was one
of the
privileged ones
to share
in the
glorious celebration.
Once again
we met you
on the
Emmaus Road
of discovery.
We witnessed
eternity bursting
into reality.
And each one
knew he/she
had met
Jesus.

Gratefully yours, Andrea

Saturday, March 20, 2010

My dearest God,

I want to choose a life of joy. I want to reach for the half full cup rather than the half empty one. I want to grab for the positive rather than the negative. I want to share what is good in the world not what is bad. I want to live on the happy side rather than the unhappy one.

More and more you have revealed to me that life is a choice. With some restrictions and limitations, of course, I can pretty much decide how I want to look at life. I can describe the wonders of every day living or I can complain. Frankly, I choose the good over the bad.

Nobody has to tell me how bad things are in the world and/or in some people's lives. I already know it. I have heard it time and again. So after I hear it so many times, I can choose to hear it again or simply say, "Please can you share some good news?"

One of the blessings or gifts you have given me is the ability to participate in mini celebrations. Every little present in life can be a moment to commemorate. Today I reveled in several minis. It was just wonderful. Although I made merry by myself, I went throughout the day feasting on your spirit.

First, I breathed in fresh, sweet air of spring. I gloried in my work in the garden. I sent up special praises. Second, I filled 9 1/2 bags of leaves and winter debris. I gave thanks for the energy to do the work. Third, I washed four pairs of tennis shoes and five pair of garden gloves. They were like new. I was delighted. Fourth, I ate breakfast, lunch and dinner on the screened in porch, listened to the sound of the chimes gently pulsed by a soft spring-like breeze, and wrote my letter to you from the newly oiled 10 year old wooden table. What a treat! Finally, I took a soaking bath with a wine glass filled with chocolate milk, a plate of withering cut up apples, shaved ham that was hours from being thrown out, crackers and peanut butter and two six month old orange slice candies. With a candle burning and contemplative music playing, I just kept breathing hallelujahs to you for the special joy afforded me.

What I have learned is this: I can make joy out of the smallest occasion. I don't need big reasons in order to ceremonialize. Breathing in life-giving oxygen is cause for happiness. The warmth of the sun bringing new hues to green grass, blue skies and purple and yellow crocus is enough to spread a wide smile on my face. Tuning in to a flowing fountain can bring scenes of waterfalls in state parks. Watching the wind ripple across the pond tells me spring is indeed nearby and more beauty is unfolding.

As the sun began to set with orange, pink and yellow skies, I spoke the exceptional moments of the day, some of which I have mentioned here. I simply said thank you.

Thank you
for all
my parties today,
dear God.
I thoroughly enjoyed
each one.

Love, Andrea

Friday, March 19, 2010

Dearest God,

You have taught me many life lessons this past year. I have said it before but I am still uncovering them and I want to celebrate as they come to me. And why not?

I have learned that when a person walks through a door opened by you, a new world awaits. Life is seen through fresh eyes. The old crud gives way to new skin. Healing salve sits on a shelf waiting to mend injuries and wounds. Hope perches itself next to the front door. Peace offers slow breaths and clear minds. The present becomes a place to live fully and wholly. I figure we never exit out that door because we could get the idea that we have to leave there. Side doors are available to those who wish to travel the next leg of the journey. Hardship, question, doubt, confusion may come but the door you open is always available and we can stay as long as we want. It's a place of ongoing discovery.

While that is absolutely wonderful, a mystical paradise because you are there, something even more wonderful is possible. As life is shared with others about the learnings of your open door, others act courageously and travel, finding an open door to them. Generations of people contribute, leading others to the glorious entrance.

A friend told me the other day that my open door had lead him to walk through his own. As he recognized transformation in me, you awakened in him a need to take his own pilgrimage. It wasn't only my open door but another friend's door as well. He watched us both walk through the entrance to heaven. I see a new joy in him as every other day new dimensions of life are opening up to him and he is finding his own way home.

Isn't this what you desire? A life of faith shared with those around us? Isn't eternal joy possible every day? An experience of eternity for one is grand but when one's experience becomes two, then three and four, the joyous hope is multiplied and lives are transformed. One moment with you is far better than a moment anywhere else and so much more life is possible when shared.

Thank you,
Glorious Redeemer,
for open doors.
Your love
is like
none other.
You call
to us,
inviting us in.
We sit
with you,
feasting on your
life-giving bread.
Why would
we dine
anywhere else?
Tonight
I am full,
dear God,
full of you.

Always, Andrea

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dear God,

I'm clearing the land. I remember watching movies about settlers clearing the land, building a cabin and outbuildings, and making a tract of land livable. Well, our land is already established; however, fall and winter left behind its remnants. Leaves are everywhere in the backyard. Branches and limbs clutter the areas under the maple and river birch trees. Trash has situated itself on the lawn. Stems and oriental grasses litter the garden and surrounding area. So I'm clearing the land.

I'm having fun. It has been months since I have had this much energy. I feel like I just stepped out of the grave and pronounced myself alive. How glorious!

Although there is much, much to do, I love to rake an area and then admire the beautiful, brilliant green grass. I enjoy ripping out last year's blooms and finding little knobs of green pushing up through the soil. I like cutting back the grass and seeing the rolling hill just behind the house. All this is made better by the symphony of bird song. I feel so blessed!

Great and Wondrous God,
nature is golden,
an array
of beauty
and wonderment.
How I
treasure moments
in your creation.
I applaud
your work,
Ever-Creating God.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My dearest God,

Can one simple, uncomplicated human call for a cosmic celebration? Want to hear more? Here's my question, Lord: Is it possible for a whole people to celebrate your wondrous mysteries when a mystery unfolds into reality? Shouldn't we? Couldn't we?

I slept nine hours last night. Wow, that's a lot for me. When I awakened, I put on my outdoor clothes and went to work in the garden. I labored for two hours and twenty minutes. I cut back oriental grasses, ripped out the remnants of Autumn's beauty, plucked weeds and raked leaves. I have a great big pile of debris on my patio. I did it all by myself. After months of exhaustion, weakness in my body and need for rest, I actually had energy to do what I love.

Now lest you think I am requesting a celebration for my own achievement, let me clarify. As I worked this morning, a smile spread across my face. Every time I discovered new growth among the leaves and fallen grass, I grinned. When I realized my body muscles had strength to pull a nasty, deeply rooted, unwanted weed, I would shout out, "Yes, Lord, yes Lord, yes, yes Lord!" When buds were uncovered and I saw nature's spring beauty, I cried, "Thank you, Lord, thank you, thank you!"

You see, Great Creator, I want the celebration party because I believe you make all things possible, even the impossible. Out of the midst of weakness, you provide strength. Out of disappointment, you bring forgiveness. Out of sorrow, you offer joy. You are the author of new life. Anything, anyone can be resurrected. You are the power behind everything good.

This morning I realized one more time that you are to be celebrated again and again. My experience these last few hours was not about me at all. It was all about you! You, Lord, you! Anytime, anywhere, such revelation calls for merrymaking, a commemoration of your divine activity in the world. What I know more than anything else is that you alone are the source of true life. And the knowledge of that alone signals gaiety upon the part of the many who recognize it. Today I celebrate you!

How wondrous
you are,
Mighty and
Beautiful God!
I honor you
and all
you do.
You have
my love
and adoration
for you are
my God!

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Dear God,

This morning I will complete the refinishing of my daughter's kitchen table. I will sand it one last time and give it the third coat of polyurethane. I didn't hold out a lot of hope for that piece of furniture. The table was very dry, lustre-less, with too numerous to count scratches, scrapes and mars. I wasn't sure I could do much for it; however, I believe it will be quite lovely when it is finished.

I love the work of transformation. I love to be part of change, bringing out the beauty of something once perceived to be ugly, worthless and useless. I love to walk beside you, taking cues from you about the work we need to do. You alone are the Transformer; from time to time you allow me to join you in the endeavor.

Refinishing the table brought to mind the ways you refinish your people. God knows I have needed plenty of refinishing, renewal, and renovation. I think it was the sanding that was the most painful, feeling the rubbing effort to take off the many unncessary coats of lacquer that covered my heart. Change rarely feels good while it is taking place but generally is always good when it happens, especially when you, the Great Changer lead the effort.

Thank you for the table work as a reminder of your transforming power.

Transform me
at your will,
Precious Redeemer;
test the veracity
of my faith.
Rework me,
rearrange my parts
to do
your will,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Monday, March 15, 2010

Dearest God,

I have discovered you in small spaces. This morning I lay in an MRI machine, something I am not particularly fond of, having a scan of my brain. (I was glad to hear later that I still had one.) I can get claustrophobic at times; however, without medicine as a calming agent, I trusted in you. I prayed my way through the testing.

I loved the pictures you brought to my mind. You took me to the ocean at dawn, the sun not quite breaking the surface. There I danced as a sign of my love and devotion for you. And then you took me into the deep, dark depths of space where I watched two figures dance by the light of the stars. I knew it was the two of us just like we danced the first time more than a decade ago when I was recovering from breast cancer. Just before the scanner took the last picture you revealed an image of me dancing once again at the ocean but this time I danced in the moonlight at the ocean's edge. The full moon reflecting upon the water I saw myself dancing in white, my skirt full and flowing as I turned and twisted, allowing my body to be free, liberated from any troubles or worries. I was simply a fully open, quietly joyous, faith-filled soul dancing in the spirit.

You do wondrous things, my dearest friend. You point me heavenward, toward eternity so that the glow of glory shines on my face, always because I am looking to you.

Guide me,
Great God,
toward all things
that are
of you.
Let my heart
always be filled
with eternity.
May the fire
of your spirit
always burn
within me
so that
my devotion
will continuously
flow out
of me
to you.
Wondrous Creator,
let my steps
of faith
be the
steps toward heaven,
I pray.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Dear God,

"Are you an angel standing over here all by yourself?" The church member asked me this morning after worship. Me? An angel?

I love to listen to the preludes and postludes so instead of leaving the sanctuary while the organist is playing, in my choir robe I walk to the back, stand to the side, and sing to my heart's content if he is playing a familiar hymn tune. It's rather like being in heaven singing with an angelic choir.

I love worship. I love singing. I love being in your presence.

Most Holy God,
standing in
your presence
delights my soul.
What else
in life
is better?
Nothing!
Thank you
for allowing me
to sing
with your
heavenly choir.
You bring
such joy
to my life.
May I
always bring glory
to your name.

Love, Andrea

Saturday, March 13, 2010

My dearest God,

Seemingly out of thin air you appear. You come when we least expect it.

My friend shared with me a recent excerpt out of her life. You came to her through a group of strangers. When her preschool daughter had brain surgery, the surgeon left a scar from ear to ear. As she began to feel better they went out for a meal. One of the servers noticed the little girl's recovering wound and told her that her meal would be free; she could order anything she wanted. During the next hour you came into their midst; you called yourself Compassion. Not only did they give the girl a free meal, they brought a cake, balloons and a card they had all signed. They sang to her and also gave the mother a freebie on them. When the mother wept with joy, so did half the servers.

What alerts the human heart to do an act of kindness? What is involved in inspiring someone to act out a gesture of thoughtfulness at some kind of cost to themselves? What tugs at the soul opening up an opportunity to care for another?

My friend recognized your presence through this special happening. Battling with you over a number of things throughout the years, she did not question this generous, beautiful event. She heard your sweet voice, felt the gentle breeze of your spirit, and noticed your ingratiating smile. She breathed in faith and strength, something she has longed to do as she sought to follow you, to trust you, and to walk in the path set before her. She felt your love burst in her heart, filling up the cavity so long left empty, waiting to be permeated with you.

You alone,
Great Comforter,
fill our
empty hearts
with joy overflowing.
The divine scent
of hope
rises up
within us
reminding us
that we
may live
a life
beyond earth's
tight hold.
You present
your own self
to us
giving us
a sneak peek
of eternity.
Our souls,
fed with
heaven's manna
rejoice...once again.

Love always, Andrea

Friday, March 12, 2010

My dearest God,

As I watch, anticipate and sense your presence, I know to be ready for what may come, whatever that may be. Sometimes it is a challenge, a perceived blow to the head or heart. Perhaps you question a belief or an emotion, an action or attitude. Another time it may be an affirmation or an embrace, reminding me whose I am. And, of course, there are those course corrections, something that needs to be changed in order to keep me in good stead with you and others.

For several weeks you have brought me a wonderful calm, like the sea after a great storm. My little boat, although it has its own concerns, has been floating in a tranquil bay. If the wave seems to be a bit higher than usual, I am not afraid; I simply go with the flow. What a wonderful gift following so many choppy seas.

You are God,
the Compassionate One,
I give
to you
my love
now and forever.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, March 11, 2010

My dear God,

I thought you might actually step out of the fog a couple mornings ago. I had gotten up before dawn and looked outside. A low-lying fog covered the ground. I stepped outside on the front porch, sat in a wicker chair and just watched the fog. I waited.

Maybe I've seen too many movies. Maybe I've romanticized your coming. On the other hand, I have an expectancy. How many times when I was in a fog did you appear? I haven't enough toes and fingers to count your appearances to me when I was confused, treading in murky waters. You came when least expected. When I saw the mystical fog 48 hours ago, I just sat and gave thanks for the many encounters of the past.

You are good,
kind and compassionate,
Wondrous God.
I know
I am blessed
because you
are the
greatest blessing
in my life.
Your visitations
touch my life
in ways
beyond my imagining.
You are
a very
present source
of love
in the world.
You bring peace
when no one
else can.
Thank you
for the
beautiful fog
and every,
even more beautiful,
encounter.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

My dearest God,

I lost my keys on Tuesday. When I went into the hospital for a doctor's appointment and returned to my car, my keys were gone. The trouble was that I had not only been to my physician's office but also to the lab, the restroom, the coffee shop and cafeteria. I was too weary to walk back. I had another key with me so I used it to drive home. Late in the day I called my doctor's office and they told me they had my keys.

Last week I lost my keys. I had left the house for an appointment and literally from the time I walked out of the house, put out the recyclables and picked up the paper, they were gone. I used my extra key again. When I got home and stepped out of the car in the garage, I found my keys in the recyclable box.

Both times I breathed a prayer of thanksgiving. Losing something valuable is always troubling. Finding something always brings joy and gratitude.

You are
the author
of discovery.
You lead
and guide me
to what
is lost.
The process
of finding
the lost
is filled
with anticipation
and a sense
of hopefulness.
Both God
of the lost
and the found,
I am always
grateful to partner
with you
in the search.
Thank you.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My dearest God,

A nighttime reflection came to me as a person asked me a simple question: How was your day today? I thought back upon the last several hours and then rattled off my impression of the day I had just lived. I was blessed I told him.

How was I blessed by you, my dear God? My doctor is going exploring once again to determine why my body is growing weaker. The sun shone. I visted my last church before retirement. I got to see the new building. I ran into a friend there and we had an opportunity to chat. I carried in bags of clothing and household items for an inner city mission. I was able to complete my work where I was hired to paint some chairs. I spent time with my daughter looking at some kitchen renovation ideas. My bed was warm in my cold bedroom. I finished my novel. I shared a little time with two grandchildren. Two other elementary school children, two of my daughter's after-school child care, asked if they could call me grandma like my granddaughters. My oldest daughter called to thank me for her birthday gift and to say yes to stay at my home this weekend. Overall, it was a blessed day.

The lens
through which
I look
is not cloudy
or distorted.
I see
my day unfolding
and I
find you
in the midst.
In small
things,
teeny or large,
you are present
pointing out
the goodness
in my
daily life.
I am grateful
to you,
Wondrous Creator,
Comforter and Friend.

Love, Andrea

Monday, March 8, 2010

Dear God,

On occasion as my body grows weak and without energy, I know I have no alternative but to lie down and rest. I know I have no power to do anything else. I know there is no pill to take, no lifestyle change to make, no exercise to do, nothing that seemingly will change what is happening to me.

As I observe this change, I realize how important it is to trust you more. My trust in you at any given moment opens my ever-growing-smaller world. At moments when my body is losing ground, I suddenly find myself in a wide expanse of light, beautiful light that draws me in, making me comfortable, offering me peace. In this world of hope and beauty, I draw spiritual strength and I know I am safe because you are with me. In an uncertain time when my response would be one of anxiety and fear, you make my world better, not my body but my spirit. The biggest part of me, you stretch me wide, showing me the things of heaven. You ladle into my waiting hands, living water to quench my thirst for you. You give me manna, the food of heaven that nourishes my soul, making it ready for the next moment. You breathe into me life-giving air that sustains me.

What more could I want?

You are
mighty and powerful,
a very
present help
in trouble.
You wrap
heaven's arms
around each one
of us,
proclaiming to all
our true identity
as children
of eternity.
You aid us
in our distress,
love us
in our difficulties
and hold us
while the
danger passes by.
You are
our God;
there is
no other.

Always and forever, Andrea

Sunday, March 7, 2010

My dearest God,

I saw what you saw this morning at church. I watched a young father carrying his infant son with him as he stood in line to take Holy Communion and then kneel at the rail for prayer. Moments later I observed his wife join him as she knelt beside her husband, wove her hand in his and took hold of her baby's foot. As the child played in his father's arms, the parents prayed.

As I zoomed in on this family picture, I was drawn to you. It was almost as if you stood just behind them with your own arms around them. Of course, you smiled.

How different would life look if every family prayed like this? What kind of shift would take place in the world? How would people be changed, a world change?

As I consider my own attitudes and behaviors and think back, I believe I would have been better suited by praying on my knees more often. Perhaps my life and the lives of others may have been rearranged. Per chance those for whom I had responsibility to pray would be better off now. While I am certain I am not you with mysterious powers, I do know I have the power of prayer. I believe my prayers somehow join others to make a significant difference. If each prayer could carry a light and those lights could somehow become visible at any point in time, there would be a light show never to be compared.

As I think about it, you did provide a light show for me last October when the light points of prayer joined together at the center and scattered in every direction. I saw it plain as day and it dramatically altered my thinking...and my life.

Do other people
see the things
I see?
Do visions
of loveliness
come to
all the
human family?
Does prayer
open doors
for the future,
even for
the present?
Does your light
shine in
every darkness,
giving renewed vision
and hope
to all?
Does every person
have the
same ability
to let go
of preconceived ideas
and notions
and turn
to you
for guidance?
Does each person
carry a desire
to rise
to a
higher level
of existence
widening the scope
of human experience?
Can every individual
meet you?

Love, Andrea

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Dear God,

I have been hired to work on a table and chairs, to sand, clean and paint them. I started on them as I had energy. On Saturday I finished sanding and cleaning. I took off a layer of scratches revealing even deeper mars in the wood. However, I know when I start painting, the black color will hide the cuts and make for a lovely kitchen set.

As I worked, I thought of how you work on us, on me. Your tools are a bit different but you do the same thing. You rub out the blemishes and flaws and clean us up as you go. You work to restore and renew us, bringing out some natural beauty hidden by the yuck of life. Only you can make us beautiful once again.

More and more I recognize your wondrous activity in our lives. More often than not, we don't even notice. Certainly we don't give you credit. We go along life's journey and rarely stop to think about how we have come as far as we have. But when we do it is always a cause for celebration and praise.

Thank you
for working
on me,
Great Potter.
You take
the clay
of my life
and then
reshape and
remould me.
You rub out
my imperfections
when I
say yes.
You bring
a new hue
to my existence.
I am
so grateful.

Love, Andrea

Friday, March 5, 2010

Dear God,

The world becomes a small place when I am not feeling well. I am reduced to a single room in which to reflect, ponder the meaning of life, pray for others, and give thanks.

As I consider my health and all its ramifications, I celebrate life. Today I remember past miracles, unexpected blessings, transformations, special joys and the return of hope and peace. I recognize your work. I acknowledge your wondrous activity in all of these. Who else could orchestrate such wonders? No one. It is all grace, every bit of it.

You have shown me how moments of ill health are perfect times to look back or look around, to discover and extol your mighty power and gentle, loving ways. You are indeed active in human life. You engage us every day in conversation, whispering to us the many ways we can work together in the world. You usher us into your sanctuary where we witness love from on high. You bolster our faith and keep us in touch with the things of eternity.

When I am tempted to give in to doubt or fear, I remember there are never promises for tomorrow, simply for today. As I willingly participate in your purpose, I find myself full of contentment, knowing today is enough. When I focus too much on the future, I lose the joy of today. Why would I want to do that?

Teach me,
dearest God,
to revel
in today's joy.
Reveal to me
the beauty
of today's relationship
with you.
Show me
how to be
truly grateful
for all
that is
around me.
Inspire me
to express gratitude
even during
uncertain times.
Remind me
that I
am not
queen of
the world,
neither the center
of the cosmos.
Cause me
to remember
my place
and give thanks.
Replenish my strength
so that
I may
sing your praise,
giving you glory
now and forever.

Love, Andrea

Thursday, March 4, 2010

My dearest God,

When you scooped up the first handful of earth to make a human, did you intend that life would be so fragile? Was the point of making the body so delicate was that we would have to treat it with deep respect and loving care? What was the purpose of giving each human a beginning and ending time? Was the plan to allow each person a destiny however long their life span?

As I face my own mortality each time I have to deal with an endocrine system episode, I recognize the fragility of life. As I feel my life energy ebb away during those moments, I realize how little control I have. When fear tempts me to surrender my peace, I close my eyes, draw my circle, climb inside and spiritually cocoon with you. How comforted I am as I wholly trust in your care. A quiet solitude resides within me and I celebrate the joy of our relationship.

During control-free moments, I have the wondrous opportunity to let go and surrender my need to take charge. I can take the precious time afforded me to welcome you, to give thanks, to offer praise. As the scary moment passes, I am free to dance again, the dance of gratitude and joy.

What can
I possibly do
to show you
my grateful praise?
What can
I say
to once again
extend my
joyous thanksgiving?
You know
my heart,
O God;
it is yours.

Love, Andrea

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

My dearest God,

How do you draw strangers together? How do you open common paths? Often I will sit back filled with wonder at the ways in which you bring people together.

My friend's daughter had brain surgery this week. She is healing well but it will be several days before the pathology report will tell the rest of the story. Prayers are being offered on her behalf.

Yesterday my friend told me that she received an email from a stranger out of state, a mother whose own child had a brain tumor and died just three months ago. The stranger mother wrote, offering her prayers, her support and her phone number if she needed someone to talk to. When my friend told me the brief story, tears filled my eyes. What would draw these mothers together, one grieving and one waiting for news if it were not for you? How could it happen otherwise?

Great power is at work here. At last report 870 people had written prayers for this 3 year old girl and placed them on their facebook site, 870, mostly strangers. People following some hidden, mysterious force right to a point of need. Why? How?

As I consider this unfolding scenario, it gives me more reason to believe in the presence of the divine. I see sacred signs and I know before it is all over strangers will become friends. My friend is drawing strength from this wondrous activity. She is not only holding up; she is exhibiting a kind of trust, hope, peace and joy for those around her. She is drinking from a well of living water, eating heaven's manna, and producing the same for those around her. Surely this is amazing grace at work.

Heavenly Father,
thank you
for faithful followers
who provide
mystical sightings
of eternity.
For surely
eternity is
a revelation
of you
in the midst
of humanity.
Thank you
for hope
that arises
from such sightings.
Thank you
for peace
that comforts,
for love
that abounds,
for joy
that bubbles up,
leaving in
its wake
pictures of you.

Love, Andrea

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My dearest God,

Early this morning I cradled a weary mother in my arms and prayed for her. I sensed your glorious spirit praying through me. Like a used vessel I simply spoke the words you brought to my mind.

For some time now you have been helping me build a new life, a life where I get to choose who I want to be and how I will be. Like methodical shoppers, you and I have scanned the shelves of characteristics, qualities, and values and I have determined what I would place in my basket. At times I have selected something familiar. Sometimes I passed by those familiar traits, instead choosing something else. Having the freedom to remake my life is a gift of heaven.

I don't have to be the way I was. I am free to choose another way. I don't have to carry some of what I carried before. I chose to let go of negativity because I learned that negativity simply breeds negativity. Some people feast on negativity sharing only what is wrong. Some thrive on gossip, blame, judgement, and rumor. I chose to let negativity go along with persons who choose to live that way. I elected a more positive life because it always leads me to you. Negativity drags me down lower and lower. Choosing to be positive forces my eyes to look up. That doesn't mean that I won't deal with controversial issues; it simply means I will look at things with a view toward the positive.

As I daily breathe in new life, I recognize that you will lead me to others who are downtrodden feeling trapped, lonely and afraid. You will give me the opportunity to breathe new life into someone else needing a change. It won't be my responsibility to change them, only to reveal another possibility.

Like the mom
I held
in my arms,
you have
held me,
whispering positive affirmation,
hope and
words of encouragement.
You have
pointed me
to the light
so many times
and you
have lifted
my hand
toward heaven.
Where else
would I
want to reach?
Thank you
for precious moments
where I am
given the privilege
of lifting
the hand
of someone else.
You will always
have my love.

Sincerely, Andrea

Monday, March 1, 2010

My dearest God,

You have taught me that we randomly walk the face of the earth together. We meet strangers along the way. Sometimes something will tug at our heart and we will pause to pray.

Two men entered the Riley Hospital glass elevator with me. I looked into the eyes of one of the men. "Do you have a baby here?" I asked. "Yes, my grandchild is having heart surgery." He replied. "What's their first name?" I inquired. "Larkisha." He told me. "I'll pray for him." I said as the elevator opened and I stepped out.

Throughout the long day of waiting with a family whose daughter was having brain surgery, I ran into this man. "How's it going?" I queried. "Well." He shared. We traded smiles.

I doubt that I shall ever come across that man again. But for the moment, at the time, in a hospital for sick children we met, connected and the line of prayer continued.

One thin cord
connects us
to heaven
and to
each other,
O Lord,
simply because
you choose
to do it.
You encircle us
with another
and then
ask us
to do something.
You entrust
another human
into our care
if only
for a moment.
I celebrate
your divine embrace
and the
glorious love
that emanates
from it.
How grateful
I am
to be included
in your
sacred circle.

Love, Andrea

Sunday, February 28, 2010

My dearest God,

Sunday, such a glorious day! I learned today that it is possible to sing and smile at the same time. I am singing in the choir of your church.

It is possible to smile in Sunday School, in the fellowship hour, and while listening to the organ play. I love the church because I always experience something more of you as I participate in the Sunday morning gathering. But not only that, I love the church because you loved it enough to create the church. I love bringing you joy from your beloved.

The church is not perfect. It is flawed because the people inside it are human. Sometimes the church lets out its worst when it hurts others. But more times than not I have seen the church rise to the occasion of providing care for others. I have watched the church be the light in the darkness. People turned to your church on 9/11. They wanted to hear a word of hope from you. Our word to one another was not enough. People wanted more.

I walk among your church on Sunday morning and find myself being hugged from the side, the back and the front. Such hugs, I know, come directly from you. I recognize the smile on their faces, the gleam in their eyes. I know that love for it has been the one constant in my life since I was a young child looking up into the twinkling starry night from my grandmother's front room where I was on a sleepover with my cousin. You are the church, the reason I am drawn to it.

Loving God,
thank you
for making me
part of
your life.
I drink in
your living water
on Sunday mornings.
I walk
through green pastures
and find rest
for my
weary soul.
I sing
your praise,
dance the dance
of compassionate mercy.
You are
not only
the God
of the Cosmos,
you are
my hero,
my mentor
and guide.
I love you.

Always, Andrea