Sunday, November 21, 2010

My dearest God,

Repetition, it seems, is important and valuable as a way of remembering and renewing faith. I couldn't always understand why the Jewish people historically kept recalling to mind in worship their freedom from bondage in Egypt. Yet, each generation must rekindle the memory in order for the power of the miracle to replenish faith.

This came home to me yesterday when my daughter called to talk about Thanksgiving. We teased and laughed and made plans for her and her family to stay with us and enjoy the feast at another daughter's home. As I listened to her voice, heard her words and her laughter, I remembered your wondrous gift to us when we were reconciled after 13 years. I remember when a conversation was not possible. Everything is dramatically different now. You, O God, made reconciliation a possibility. I still don't know how you did it; I just know you made it happen.

It was three or was it four years ago this week when I was on the mountain in Abiquiu, New Mexico living in silence except for worship eight times a day with the monastics at Christ in the Desert. A supreme time of quiet listening, walking, reflecting, reading and sitting in your presence, as always I was led to your will for my life. As I remained still, you came to me whispering truth, not the truth as I understood it, but so much more. You urged me to surrender all those things that served as obstacles to faith, grace, hope and love. As I relented, giving up my need to control my life and environment, you renewed my life in you and the life you started in me. The days apart in an isolated part of the country where the only sound at times is the flap of eagle's wings, were yet another blessing, another gift, another miracle in my life. I released what you asked me to let go. In an act of your grace in me, I truly opened myself wide, reaching for heaven, letting go of all that weighed me down. I did not do as you asked for some later result but rather because you asked. Your grace was enough for me. When finally clearing out the nasty clutter in my soul, you opened me to a new way of seeing things around me. As I left the beautiful home to the Benedictine monks, I triumphed over my fear of heights as I drove down the mountain, a task I could not do before as fear gripped me in the somewhat perilous drive up. The joy I felt as I drove the 13 miles down the sacred mountain to the highway was unspeakable. I could only allow my being to quietly praise and give thanks.

When arriving in Santa Fe and finding a cell phone signal, I saw that several calls were waiting for me. Two daughters had called begging me to call them as soon as I could. Making two calls and reaching one, I heard the incredible news that my other daughter was planning to come for Thanksgiving, a first in 13 years. The rest is history as you brought a broken family back together mending the cracks with love from on high.

Take all the
glorias and hallelujahs
that fill
my soul
with joy;
they all belong
to you.
Gracious God,
your gifts
are so many
and so wonderful
renewing life
and hope
again and again.
Let me
praise you
with all
I am
because of
your great mercy
and compassion.
My whole family
celebrates your
Thanksgiving gift
to us.
Wondrous God,
you are filled
with miracles.
Your love
is greater
than all
human love
put together.
Let us repeat
our praise
and thanks
to you
again and
again and again.

Love always, Andrea