Friday, November 17, 2006

Dear God,

Friedman, a psychologist who lived in the last century, developed the Systems Theory. Basically its tenet purports that a virus can change a whole system, human or otherwise. When a person becomes sick, it can infect the rest of the system, making the whole system sick. Conversely, when one person heals, the rest of the system is impacted, promoting healing in the system.

I have seen this work in the church. When we became sick, I called a systems specialist to explain the systems theory. I remember an older woman who came to the presentation. She was upset, angry at what was happening in the church. She was skeptical, but she wanted to know. She walked away a believer. She told me it made a whole lot of sense to her.

When one person began to heal (we called it good news), the whole system was influenced. One by one, our system, the church, began to heal, to find good news, to create good news, a good spirit, cooperation, a positive attitude. During the last year and a half, no probably the last two years, maybe even longer have been healing years. All the signs indicate we have found new life. Many of our visitors now come to our church and stay. Before they could see our sickness and didn't want any part of it. Good decision! We weren't ready for wellness. But now we are.

One woman lived her whole life in a dangerously sick environment. For decades the family was "sick unto death". Any suggested healthy change was put down, the recommender crushed, punished almost to death. So the system remained as it was.

Then something happened. One child remembered a God-awful thing from her past. She sought professional help. As she attempted to share her "good news" with siblings, they didn't put her down; they simply told her they didn't know what she was talking about. Good thing she lived hours away. She could begin to heal on her own, not live in the shadow of those who weren't ready psychologically to learn the tragic story.

But then another sibling had an experience. She too was faced with the truth of the past. Abuse of all kinds was uncovered, memories coming at lightning speed. Devastated, despairing, she too sought help. Step by step, she faced one tragedy after another. She relived the wounding injuries and finally acknowledged that her parents were mentally ill. Their illnesses had created a whole system of sickness. Daily she sorrowed, grieved her many losses. She cried, allowing decades of tears to spill, a novelty in her family. Feeling emotions. Finding her voice. Speaking the truth. Taking back her life. Making good decisions. Becoming whole and visible. Discovering faith at its root. Living victoriously. Making plans for the future.

And now a third sibling has stepped into the awful truth of the past. His awareness, speaking the truth aloud to others, has stirred up the whole family. It seems everyone knows something terrible has happened. Different family members are in varying stages of shock, fear, anger, and grief. It feels to the family like everything is collapsing, the very foundation cracking, leaving gaping holes.

What they don't fully understand is that there never was a firm foundation. Their footing, underpinning, infrastructure was built on sand, like the song that talks about the foolish man who builds his house upon the sand. One generation after another building on sand, only they didn't know it; they were never exposed to the rock.

But all that is changing. One rock from the riverbed after another is being carried to the household. It's tough, painful work lugging those huge, solid boulders. They're building a bedrock foundation. They're smoothing out the sand which was always needed, then placing the rocks in place. And they're doing it together. They are building a foundation together, a house, one that is good, healthy, happy, a home, built on the rock solid faith in God and one another. They are building hope and a new future for their family. Healing is coming, it's on its way and every person will be affected. Their family story is changing; no, it's being transformed. The beginning of the story will remain tragically the same. But the end will be dramatically different. It will be the story of a family who discovers the truth and changes their lives.

To those who stand on the outside peering in, all we can see are miracles. We see the sweat on God's brow because God too is carrying in rocks, building a new existence for children He has loved His whole life. Children for whom he has wept and prayed and sent love through others. God is restoring a family, broken for so long. He is renewing faith as the lifeblood of this community. He is giving hope while they trudge through the years of suffering toward a new way of life. It's going to be a while before the whole house is built, but it will one day stand as a testimony to the love of God, faith and the strength of a family to endure.

Loving God,
Rock of the Ages,
we stand on the firm foundation
fixed from the beginning of time.
Each one,
every one of your children,
each inhabitant of the cosmos
is invited to stand together
on that which you have created.
No one is excluded,
sidelined, pushed away;
all are invited.
Oh how much
we need your loving care.
The song that comes rushing in
is one for this family
and every wounded family
on the earth...
"What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear...
...Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there."
Joseph Scriven and Charles Converse,
writers of these words and music,
must surely have known
that one day,
one family
would take solace
in God whose love
extends time and space
to love his little ones.
How can we ever thank you?

Eternally yours, Andrea