Friday, May 18, 2007

Dear God,

When presenting my personal covenant to my covenant group a year ago, I told them my greatest desire is to be faithful, faithful to God and I suppose faithful to myself. I want to be faithful in my striving to please you, to reach for your will. I want you to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I want these to be the words that greet me in eternity.

But being faithful is hard. If I am to be found faithful, then I have to live a faith-filled life. I have to faithful in my attitudes, actions, and behaviors. Living life in the light is all I really want. Making decisions in faithfulness will bring me joy. Not doing so brings me pain.

I recently told someone that my life felt really good right now. I feel as though I climbed out from under a dark rock and have found my own footing. Yet, when the winds shifted, I fell backward, hit my head on the rock and I'm laying in the soil pondering my lack of faithfulness to achieve your purposes. So hard to follow you in every case.

And so l wait, wondering, reflecting, trying to trust.

Lift my eyes
to heaven.
Make me glory bound.
Cleanse my center.
Stir in my soul
my greater need
to serve you
than my desire
to serve myself.
I await your power
to do so.

Lovingly, Andrea