Monday, October 13, 2008

Dearest God,

Dead leaves lay at my feet. Autumn is doing her thing. Resistant at first, she finally lets go, releasing the beautiful artistry she has revealed. Each leaf is its own creation, like a Master Artist painting each one uniquely. But the time comes when letting go is the call and the leaf dies. But the tree lives to create again.

I think my spiritual life is like Autumn. With you I partner in the experience of creation. Something new comes inside me and in due time I too reveal the new thing. My spirit feels new, young and innocent, pure and beautiful, unique. I dance the dance of Spring, continuing into Summer allowing you to breathe upon me, moving me effortlessly in the wind of your spirit.

And then one day I look and something has changed. I look and feel different. I see new colors, a new texture to my life. At first I don't know what to make of it but then I realize I have entered a new phase and I try to go with it, trusting this to be your work. And just when I give myself more fully to this transformation, I begin to experience a strange feeling and I have to acknowledge that a leave taking is coming. I am urged to let go, to release that which I came to love in order for my whole being to cocoon allowing time for my inner self to be strengthed for the new season of creation. This cycle of life like the seasons of time teaches me not to hold on long to any one new thing because to do so is to stagnate, to get mired down, to put too much trust in what I have "attained" rather than giving myself to the wind of the spirit that will blow as it needs to in my life.

I felt sad looking down at the crumpled, brown dead leaves. Yet, even this is part of life.

Trusting you,
I wish
to allow myself
to ride
upon the wind
of change,
to trust
the wind
wherever
it takes me.
I want
to be free
to ride,
to release
and let go
whenever
the call comes.
I want
to be yours
fully,
not to
hold back,
but to let go,
becoming more
what you want.
Teach me, Lord,
I pray.

Love, Andrea