Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Dear God,

How hard it is to ask questions that will produce hard answers to life's questions. A question to a mate, a doctor, an employer. Such queries teach one's need to remain at your side.

I have struggled with my own life's questions. Some answers are frightening; others challenge the way I live, think or believe. I am still asking those questions.

The older I become, the more in tune I become with my whole being, the more I face challenges, the more I realize I cannot walk away from you. The closer I stand, the more able I will be to address these questions as they come. The closer I stand, the easier I will breathe knowing I am not alone. The closer I stand, the more I will trust.

Life is a series of challenges I know. Sometimes, O Lord, I flow with the river. Other times I build dams, blocking the flow. It's always more difficult to build dams especially as the river is so powerful. Eventually, worn out, my dam gives way and I ride downstream whether I like it or not. Why not stand at your side while you build me a life raft that I can ride in times of challenge? I could take the white water kicked up over the rocky river beds, knowing my boat is sturdy enough to hold me until I hit the quiet, smooth waterways. And I return to peace to a new place.

Lord of Heaven,
how little
I really
trust you,
how small
is my faith.
I want
to rise up,
trusting you
every second
of every day.
I don't like
the white water;
I get scared.
Yet,
my experience
has always been
that a perceived threat
always takes me
to you.
Teach me,
I pray,
to trust more,
and fear less.

Loving you, Andrea