Monday, January 5, 2009

Dear God,

I am learning that faith is forged out through suffering. It is in suffering that the opportunities to draw close to the Creator are provided. We have a way out or rather a way in. Our pain caused by our losses moves us to do something positive. Taking our sorrow and presenting it to you brings a closer relationship with you. And you do not disappoint us.

My world is not the way I want it to be. But perhaps it is the way it is because it affords me the chance to forge my faith in greater ways. Perhaps the way I see my world is through too small a lens. I can only see what I see. When I relent and trust, you enable me to see more clearly, to have a greater perspective, to arrive at different conclusions, to draw in spiritual resources, to find peace even if temporarily.

I remember my renewal journey. I remember getting up each morning with no predetermined plans for the day. I would ask you, "What shall we do today, Lord?" And I waited for your answer. I followed your lead and what an amazing journey I had. I trusted you. Now, of course, that was a time apart with no real responsibilities at home. But still, it was a time of trust and thanksgiving because I went about the day saying thank you. I knew where the gifts were coming from.

But it comes to me that I can still live a life of trust asking the same question. What shall we do today, Lord? Even in the midst of my work and responsibilities, my inner self can still ask the question, leading me to follow and be thankful.

May I walk
my life's journey
with you,
dear God?
May I listen
and follow
and be thankful?
May I
be obedient
and at day's end
be found faithful?
May I
love you
as a child
loves a parent?
May I
remain at your side
with all
my sins,
flaws, imperfections,
failures,
and disappointments?
May I
remain near
while I learn
the lessons
of trust
even more?

In gratitude, Andrea