Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dearest God,

I prayed, "O God, please bless..." and then I went on to share the names of my children, grandchildren, husband, church, friends and the world. In the middle of it I suddenly said, "What am I doing?" Am I trying to tell you what to do? Is my role to awaken you from sleep to do what I tell you as if you didn't even know what needed doing? I stopped in midstream, do you remember?

What is prayer? I suddenly asked myself. Is prayer a mindful exercise on my part? But the work of prayer is yours? There's a problem with this, I told myself. I couldn't pray on.

It came to me: Each day, sometimes several times, I offer up names, praying that you would make lives better, those of family and friends, strangers in worn-torn areas, starving children, leaders of nations, on and on. What is my work? I asked you. And you whispered, "Live the prayer, live the prayer."

What good am I if all I do is bark orders to you? Living the prayer involves me in blessing lives around me and even around the world. What if the words of my prayer are your words, urging me to become involved in the lives of people desperate for your loving concern? When there is an opportunity to give a cash gift for hats and gloves for the homeless, is that not living the prayer? And for a tiny Native American library in New Mexico who offered me hospitality, a shelter from the heat when I was sick? A gift for books, a chance to tell their story to others? And when someone needs a word of hope, am I not to live the prayer and offer that word? Sharing love with humanity, living each day as a living prayer, is that not your intention for us all?

I began to look around me. Humanity is in need all over the world. My prayer is your prayer challenging me to share my life of light and love with others, friends and strangers. And sometimes when I am in need, I need to be willing to receive that same love knowing others are living the prayer too.

And now when I pray, I know I am praying with you, not just offering up some names, more work for you. I am listening to your calling, following your lead, taking those names, becoming more sensitive to the world around me. And when I see a need, a crying child, a weary mother scolding her child, a broken down car on the highway...you soften my heart, sensitizing me to those dramatic needs in the community and world. I don't have the ability to minister to each one, what I do have is a softer heart for those times when I can reach out to help with words, money, assistance, guidance, love...faith.

O Lord,
the idea
of giving you
a list
of needs
and then
going on
about my life
is nonsense.
What is
my usefulness
in the world
if I do not
help my neighbor?
Prayer
is not
about me
telling you
what to do
but rather you
inspiring me
to do
the beautiful work
of grace,
compassion,
mercy,
and comfort.
Partners,
you and I
Why am I
made in
your image
if not
for going
into the world
sharing your life
with others?
Why else
would I,
could I
carry your face
with me?
Make my prayers
a labor
of love
to those
in need,
Lord,
a labor
of love.

Love, Andrea