Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dearest God,

What is the reward of attachment? Attaching myself to homes, cars and stuff can at times make me a slave to them. When I struggle to make decisions about my future, my life, I am brought back to my accumulation. I am not free.

But in the night as I was praying, I thought back to an experience just a few days ago. When I was holding on to stuff, I felt anxious, worried, concerned, paralyzed. Emotionally I was drained, psychologically I felt trapped. Mentally I couldn't free myself enough to see a solution.

But you surprised me. From a back door entrance you spoke a word and I was free to let go. Suddenly I saw that stuff is nothing more than that. Stuff. Stuff will not bring me joy, oh maybe for a moment, a day or a week, but it has no sustaining power. Stuff will not help me love more. In fact it can get in the way of love. Stuff can make me look like more than I really am, giving an inaccurate picture of my personhood. Stuff can be trouble. If I can't afford it, I create more anxiety. If I don't really need it, it can clutter my life. If I have to spend so much time taking care of it, it can rob me of valuable time to do something more important. If it is the object of a fight, I can give away the purity of my heart because my stuff has more value than love, faith, trust, peace.

You revealed to me the value of detachment, the wisdom of detachment. You showed me a new path, a lighter burden, a freedom that opens new doors. In your generous vision you parted the curtains divulging greater truths. Detaching myself from stuff leads the way to a brighter future because it gives me more room, more opportunity, more time to attach myself more deeply to you.

God Most High,
my ways
are not yours.
Your vision
is not like
my own.
Wise God,
you reveal
new truths
to me,
teaching me
to trust you more.
My life
in you
gives me
pause and cause
to rid myself
of unwanted,
unncessary things.
The more
I cling
to the things
I own,
the less trust,
the less freedom,
the less peace
I have.
Detachment.
Wisdom.
Trust.

Love, Andrea