Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Dear God,

Trips to the mountain have led me to surrender past hurts. I encountered you on the mountain, a gentle whisper telling me to do what I knew was right and good.

Some time ago I surrendered resentment and bitterness toward a family member. A situation had occurred that had placed elderly members of my family in a precarious, vulnerable place. I had to work hard to undo the situation and protect them. I harbored resentment against the guilty party. In the long run the resentment festered in my soul because the soul is an unnatural place to hold on to destructive things. A trip to the mountain gave me an environment in which to release, let go of those damaging feelings and emotions.

On a regular basis I return to the mountain to talk. It may be an actual mountain in New Mexico or it may be a higher state of mind, an uncluttered place where I go to sit at your feet, to listen to your voice, to weep out my sorrows, to find new perspective. I am rarely disappointed.

Because I traveled up the mountain and released pent-up feelings, I was able to renew a relationship with the family member. I didn't receive an apology either for the wounded family members or for myself. However, my soul is clear. I suspect there's some clutter in his soul and it is his to deal with. What it did do for me was establish a relationship once again that was destroyed at the time the event/events took place.

I got a call from the family member saying he was having surgery. I know he has fear tucked inside. Since the incident he has had several surgeries and needs more. He didn't know he had a heart problem until they told him he needed five bypasses. I knew he had had a "heart" problem at the time he was doing what he was doing. But the call opens the door for my family to get together and I am grateful.

Loving God,
you opened
the door
to reconciliation.
You made
a path
in the desert
for living water
to once again stream.
You spoke hope
to the parched,
to the scorched,
to the thirsty
and we drank
together.

Loving you, Andrea