Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dear God,

Some days, O God, the sermon comes to me a line at a time. It is a struggle. I sit, pray, read, write, ponder, reflect; yet, just a word will come. I have to be patient even when time is running out.

What to say in a sermon is unbelievably important. I don't consider it my work alone. I do have to work at it but ultimately the message is yours. I have to trust, listen and be obedient. When an idea comes, I trust it to be yours if it is a good one. What do you want to say to your children? is the question I ask frequently. What do you want us to know? What challenge do you want to leave us?

This morning it was difficult. Other thoughts ran through my mind and it was irritating to me. I had to confess, apologize for being unable to stay on task. I was grateful when it was finished.

Leaving an open line to you is not always easy. I want to connect directly to you. If I am to serve your people with your message then I know I must be open and listening to you. I cannot run ahead and say any old thing. I must remain open to you, be patient and attentive, always with my ear to the ground so I don't miss anything. I want there to be nothing between us. I know that my sin, whatever it is at the time, always lingers at the door wanting to snatch away anything good that comes. My guilt, my lack of cooperation, my resentments and/or bitterness hang around as well. So I have to labor to keep the door open. When something comes to me from you, I count it a gift.

O God,
let nothing
stand between us.
Teach me
the way
of confession.
Rid my soul
of every sin.
Let innocence,
purity
and a
clean soul
be my
soul's desire.
Open every pore
to prayer
so that
I may
make myself ready
for you.

Love, Andrea