Friday, July 24, 2009

Dearest God,

The lesson I am learning is to be flexible, go with the flow, make minor adjustments, let go of the stress, walk on. I thought I had to have a home to live in, my own home. But what is home really but a state of mind, a condition of the soul, a peaceful serenity wherever you find yourself. I thought I had to have all my clothes but I learned I could live with five casual outfits and two Sunday outfits. After all, who wears more than one at a time? I thought I needed to watch my own flowers break through the ground, grow, blossom and bloom. But there are flowers all over. I've just watched your garden grow. I thought I needed more than I really did.

In difficult situations one can wither and die, become angry and strike out, or take the road of heaven where God fills the cracks and leads the way. In my lifetime I've done all three. However, these days away from my home, I am learning to trust you. I am savoring moments of faith, of simply joys, serendipitous moments with my family from siblings to children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, an uncle and aunt. Right now they are my home. They offer what home provides: love, stability, acceptance, joy, support, affirmation and hope.

When my world was turned upside down, I had to make a decision whether to lie down in the muck and die or rise up and trust. The time I spent in the muck was not pleasant. My tears blended with the muck. Day after day the sky turned darker and darker. Nighttime demons haunted me. I was ready to give in to the darkness. In fact I said aloud, "I have lost my hope." But as quickly as I gave up, your voice sang from heaven. "I have a plan for you that is unfulfilled. Heaven's voice was what I needed. I sprang up from my bed of nails. I wiped off the muck and started living again.

Going with
the spiritual flow
of life
makes life easier.
What has been
taken away
is not near
as great
as what
has been given.
Trust can come
when all
seems lost.
In fact
it is sweeter.
Loss opens doors
to gratitude
for what
one has,
even the
most simple
basic things
of life.
I am blessed.

Love, Andrea