Monday, August 3, 2009

Dearest God,

When I arrived at the Blessed Sacrament Chapel, the liturgy had already started, words being spoken that I had uttered so many times before across 21 years with my beloved Catholic community. I remained standing because every chair was taken. I listened as Marilyn offered the holy word. It filled the room with your holiness. How glad I was to be in your home to worship.

When the Eucharist, the bread of life, was offered, I was reluctant to receive. Should I go forward? I looked back at Marilyn. I've always appreciated her sweet spirit. I've shared in the holy meal with Marilyn before. I decided to join in the feast. As I stepped before her, my hands outstretched, she smiled as she placed the bread in my hands, "Andrea, the lamb of God." I ate.

As I leaned against the wall, I realized it was the Eucharist I missed giving away. In my 20 plus years of ministry, I loved offering the lamb of God to others. I looked deeply into hungry people's eyes and then I gave to them the gift of life.

As the liturgy ended, I quietly slipped out the door. Fed the holy bread, I remembered the many times I had offered the feast to others. I missed doing so now. And then it came to me. When I am full of you, I offer you to others in my daily contact. When I offer help, I am offering you. When I offer grace, I am giving you away. When I offer joy, I am providing your joy to others. When I am full of you, I carry the Eucharist with me. I offer it all day long to others in my attitudes, my actions, my gestures of care and love.

Life lessons
are filling
my life
right now.
I still have
so much
to learn.
I have been
so preoccupied
with my
own losses
and sorrow.
You were waiting
for me,
waiting to
teach me
the lessons
you had
for me.
Thank you
for today's.

Love, Andrea