Monday, July 27, 2009

Dear God,

Leaving things in your hands will eventually change things. Sometimes I want to bolt, charge forward to do something. I want to make things happen. If there is a plan, I want to fulfill it. If there is something to do, I want to do it. When there is a long lull, I can grow weary, discouraged, impatient. But when I leave things in your hands, things happen when they should.

Trusting your time is a challenge for me. Trusting you in all things is my life's greatest challenge. To be able to live in spirit time is to trust you completely.

I remember my clergy renewal leave. My covenant group of three flew to France. There we planned to visit the saints, St. Bernadette, St. Therese and Brother Roger. We planned to travel from Paris to Lourdes, from Lourdes to Taize, from Taize to Lisieux, from Lisieux back to Paris.

For twenty one years our covenant group has existed to answer one question: "Where is Christ in your life right now?" No matter the situation, good, bad, or anything in between, each one of us has to answer this query as we share. Trusting God to reveal the answer is to acknowledge that God indeed lives in our lives every day in every situation. Our challenge is to seek to uncover your abiding presence.

When we arrived in France, a train strike was taking place. We didn't know if the train would run one day or not. So we determined from the beginning that you would lead the pilgrimage, not us. We would gather together each morning and tell you we were ready for the day's venture. We would literally walk to the street corner and be lead where to go next. Not only did we feel lead, we did not even try to push each other with our own desire and plan. Whenever a "problem" arose, we counted it a blessing, an angel kiss. We smiled and trusted. We did not consider it a problem at all. After all, we were not on a vacation. We were not interested in seeing all the sights, running all day to see as much as we could. We simply trusted you to guide us, to open us to the wonders of your creation. We were on a treasure hunt, seeking to discover your holy presence. By trusting you completely our journey was an amazing pilgrimage of love, grace, holiness, discipline, and joy.

When we gathered together two months later as my leave ended, we shared the wondrous moments of trusting you and one another. No conflict, no frustration, no disappointment. Trusting you to lead us to things we could never have imagined grew our faith, our love for you, and our appreciation for one another. Riding on the wings of angels gave opportunities to see much more than we planned because we kept our eyes on heaven where change begins.

Glorious God,
when life
seems stagnant,
when things
are not moving,
those are times
when you are
asking your children
to trust you.
Sometimes you just
have to get
our attention.
Sometimes you
have something
you want
to change.
Maybe it is
our situation,
maybe it is
our heart.
Maybe it is
someone else
related to us.
Trusting you
in the middle
of every situation
is not only
a spiritual discipline;
it is
an act
of spiritual love.

Love always, Andrea