Saturday, September 5, 2009

My dear God,

As I awakened very early this morning, I was haunted by thoughts so familiar to me, visions of loss, sorrow and hurt. Replayed again and again, my soul feels that predictable pain that threatens to drag me back down to the hole of despair.

Because I live only in my skin, it is difficult for me to imagine love held back. From my earliest memories I can recall loving long and deep. A grandmother, a pet, a flower, a friend. I love long after the last petal has fallen, the pet has died, a friend has moved away. Loving that way causes deep mourning, at least for me.

As I lay in bed seeing the first signs of the dawn, I am suddenly reminded of your love that held me during the night. I know I have a choice whether to remain in dark sadness or rise from my bed and move to the light.

Light Keeper God,
even darkness
cannot hold back
the light.
You are
the light,
Great God,
the light
that reveals
the path
of life.
When my path
starts to veer
into dark places
of hopelessness
and despair,
your light
beckons me back;
you take
my hand
and lead me.
Your light
warms me,
recalling to mind
the warmth
of your
loving grace.
I turn on
the light
and go about
my day.
I am
so deeply grateful
to you
for the constancy
of your love.

Your loving daughter, Andrea