Friday, December 11, 2009

Dearest God,

I stepped back inside a circle of friends after many, many months. Spending the last several months licking my wounds, recovering from many sorrows, making changes, some very dramatic and living in a state of continual prayer, I decided to join in a celebration. It felt good, very good.

I realize the ebb and flow of life requires adjustment, flexibility and a willingness to change. Staying the same is never an option. I have never found staying the same a steadying experience.

Yet, what I have discovered is the ability of the human soul to seek out the divine, the mystical, the unexplainable in order to find a new seat in the spiritual journey. What is life without this great inner movement? What ultimate value does life have if this piece of life is missing, discarded for something less, tossed out like yesterday's garbage? What do we really give our children if we entertain them, giving them money, clothes, a car, goodies, all the advantages, yet we don't model a life of faith where prayer, love, faith, worship and service is held in high regard at the center? What do they have when trouble comes?

As I have allowed you to define and refine the process of trust in my life, I realize my small amount of faith is never enough to hold my boat steady during stormy weather. Like yesterday's garbage, yesterday's trust is fizzled and gone, used up for yesterday's challenges. I must renew my devotion, my loyalty each morning and night in order to keep trust growing; for trust is the pathway to faith.

Loving God,
my soul
bears the print
of your hand.
I would
have drowned
if it were not
for faith,
trust,
your love
and grace.
I would have
gone down
into the
darkest deep
and never
returned to
the surface.
I would not
have found
life in
its fullest
without you.
I cannot live
as if you
do not exist.
If I
do not pray,
if I
do not worship,
if I
do not love,
if I
do not serve,
I act
as if
you do not exist.
I live selfishly.
I do not
live at your center.
Keep me fresh,
ever growing,
ever seeking,
ever trusting,
ever leaning,
ever learning,
ever faithing.

Love, Andrea