Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dear God,

Why do we naturally think that something we do will unfold perfectly? Why do we assume all will be well? What makes us think a particular way? And why when something doesn't work out as we planned do we get upset?

I had worked hard for six days running copies of my 260-page cookbook that I wanted to sell at our Christmas Arts and Crafts on Main Street in early November. I carefully put them in a box and carried it into a local store for cutting. When I returned they were ruined. None were usable. I was out about $400 and a lot of time. One of the managers promised to run the book again and cut it for free but there were problems. All in all it took two days, four trips, several phone calls and a non-creative idea to resolve what was to be a simple task. I was distressed, irritated and unhappy. The job was done finally but here I am still talking about it.

You have taught me lessons through difficulty. You have shown me that every situation is one in which to trust you. The circumstances this time challenged me to consider myself, how I reacted, my upsetness with the worker and my need to tell others of the mistake. As I sit writing you now, I feel foolish that I allowed myself to get so upset and then share it with family and friends. I realize that I still have much to learn about patience, compassion, trust and forgiveness.

O Lord,
when I
ask you
to teach me
about compassion,
I suddenly
find myself
in a condition
where I need
to exhibit compassion.
When I
ask you
to change
someone else
with whom
I am having
a difficulty,
you wind up
changing me,
my conclusions
and attitudes.
When I
ask for patience,
I put myself
in a
slippery slope problem
that causes me
to crawl back
to you
for help.
Teach me
your ways,
dearest God,
the ways
of understanding,
kindness, love
and mercy.

Always yours, Andrea