Monday, March 9, 2009

Dear God

Today I celebrated a birthday with my daughter who turned 40. I remember holding her for the first time. In the quiet space with no one else around I remember telling her how much I loved her. I prayed for her life. There were only three of us present in the delivery room after she pushed her way into the world on her birth day, Janice, myself and you, Lord. What an awesome moment!

For 13 years we were apart from one another. But through a miraculous act, softening of hearts, and countless thousand prayers you brought mother and daughter back together again. I remember it like I remember five seconds ago. Walking into another daughter's home for Thanksgiving and hearing my oldest daughter laughing for the first time in more years than I could count. She never laughed. Maybe I didn't either for years. Maybe I didn't show her how. But on that November day my daughter laughed and I knew someone had been made new. Tears formed in my eyes. I breathed in deeply. Maybe there were two new people.

On her 40th I wrote her a poem in an e-mail. It was about all the things I wished for her: faith, peace, joy, hope and strength. The words came effortlessly because you were guiding them, reminding me of my gift and perhaps hers too.

I am a mother with three daughters, three J's. There is nothing separating us any more, only a cord holding us together, an eternal cord, a beautiful cord, a soft cord that doesn't squeeze or cut off circulation, but gently holds us together.

My little girl
turned 40 today.
And I was able
to celebrate
with her.
And I knew
the gift
you gave me
16 months ago.
Have 16 months
already passed by?
And every day
this mother's heart
has celebrated joyously.
My daughter
turned 40 today
and I felt
the gentle tug
of your
divine cord.
Sweet!

Loving you, Andrea