Monday, April 20, 2009

Dear God,

What is the value of a relationship? How does one determine the cost and benefits? What is the value of a relationship?

Some relationships are invaluable to me. Others seem to cost more than the benefits. But I have to ask myself if it is healthy, appropriate and good to pay additional costs with the hope that the relationship will endure its trials and through the trials enrich the coupling. As I look back, I may have left relationships too prematurely, not willing to wait out the difficulty. At other times I should have walked out, having waited too long without any kind of benefit.

As I look at my own relationships, family, friends, church family, co-workers, and the like, I realize that you look upon my relationship to you. Am I costly? Of course I am. Are the benefits of having a relationship with me worth my many betrayals, lack of trust, and rebellion? What is my value to you?

At times
You have waited
upon me,
Lord,
with no benefits.
You have watched
my lack
of attention
to the details
of our relationship.
You have remained
simply because
you loved me.
The weight
of our relationship
weighs heavy
on you,
doesn't it,
O God.
Do you ever
sour on me?
Do you ever
want to
give up?
O Lord,
hold me close.
Teach me
the way
of unswerving love.

Always, Andrea