Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dear God,

I sat in my garden before the sun rose. I wanted to tend to my garden. I pulled weeds, thistles and other undesirables. But as I sat there I looked among my Iris and saw that dandelions had seeded themselves among the most beautiful of my flowers. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed. My garden was in complete disarray because I had neglected it. Last year I was sick and weak, brokenhearted and alone. I tried to do what I could, even hiring help to assist me. However, my garden fell into disrepair. I thought about my life and wept.

The garden was a metaphor for my life, my relationships. As I looked upon the weeds, I saw the the broken places that had developed in my life. I had felt alone and overwhelmed as I had the summer before. I had felt the responsibility to do it all myself as I had months earlier. As I sat in my garden, I felt tired, weak, vulnerable and alone. I hadn't done any better in my life than I had in my garden. I sobbed.

At one point I wanted to give up. I simply didn't have the energy to take one more step, do one more thing. I just didn't think I could keep going.

When I was asked later in the day to pick up something from the grocery, I heard my own words..."I can't..." My words jolted me. I prayed, "Lord, help me be who I am, not who I am not." I suddenly realized that I was not a victim. I was not weak. I was not frail. I was a strong woman of faith. I walked into the grocery and picked up the item requested. I also grabbed a half dozen other things. I walked my faith. I trusted you.

You are
my strength.
You are
my courage.
You are
my blessing.
You are
my truth.
You are
my love.

Grateful to you, Most Blessed Father, Andrea