Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Dear God,

Letting go, really letting go is extremely difficult work. How often have you urged me to let go of a harboring of resentment, bitterness? How many times have you showed me a better way and I have still hung on long after the invitation to let go?

Often I have held unrealistic expectations. I have wanted something so badly even though you revealed to me that it was not realistic and chances were great that the dream was nothing more than an illusion.

I hold dearly those people, places and things that mean so much. I can hold too tightly. At times I can place greater value than they are worth. And so when I see those slipping away from me, I feel such sorrow. I weep from my toes up to my head. Even after it is gone or the remnant is so small, I hang on to that tiny portion for dear life although I hear your gentle voice whispering, "Let go, little child, let go, trust me."

I also have a tendency to hold on to life's hurts. They can accumulate, nearly choking me to death. I have to ask myself why I hang on to these hurts. It is easy to answer. I hold on because there is something of value in the hurt because the hurt is connected to someone or something that I love.

But I have come to realize that there is a time when letting go is the right thing to do. When the holding on, hoping for something more hurts more than the benefits gained, then I have to do a real evaluation. If I am giving more away than I am gaining and it regularly hurts my soul to the point of ill health, the only sensible thing to do is let go.

O God,
be the source
of letting go;
I am not
always able
to do
it alone.
You are
the source
of life
to me
and I turn
to you
when I
can go
no further alone.
Be my strength
and my courage.
Revise my agenda
to be
your will.
I trust
in you,
dear God,
in you alone.

Love, Andrea