Sunday, April 26, 2009

Dearest God,

Sharing my own vulnerability is difficult for me. I can come running to you, laying out my worst fears, my pain and sorrow, my disappointment and confusion but opening myself, laying myself bare in front of others is hard.

Today I had to be vulnerable. I was weary, incredibly sad, near tears all through the morning services. I pleaded with you to help me, to give me strength to preach, to let the Gospel fly and not be hindered by my own emotional state. And as always you were my strength.

These spiritual exercises of trust deepen my relationship to and with you. I learn that I am not a rock. I simply turn to the Rock of Ages. Breathing in the air of faith I take the necessary steps to do whatever I have to do because I have trust in you. I take hold of your hand and you lead me. I know I am not alone. I also know the world's greatest power is beside me.

When my life
is open
and the world
is enabled
to see me,
flaws and
failures alike,
sometimes
I am afraid.
And yet
my own fear
sends me running
back to you.
My heart fills
with gratitude
because you
see me
as I am
all the time.
I can hide
nothing from you.
And you still
love me
and I
am so
incredibly grateful.

Loving you always, Andrea