Friday, October 23, 2009

My dearest God,

More and more I am learning to trust others as I trust you. As I have spent these last many months in counselling digging deeper into my psyche, my spirit and soul, I am learning many truths about myself. I am coming to a deeper awareness of who I am, what makes me tick, what inspires me and, of course, those things that challenge me. I am finally able to make sense of me as I look at my own dark side, those places hidden for a long time by loss, pain and sorrow. Getting down to the bedrock of truth gives me greater power to change my life. And I am.

As I spent my day in gratitude giving thanks after writing my 1500th letter to you, I became conscious of little things I do. I began to own my own sin, my own failures and flaws. I became aware of how I react to life stimulus. Knowing my own faults leads me to an unburdening, a lifting rather than a weighing down. This may sound odd because in my mind I thought I would suffer greater pain if I explored my own yuck and muck. Just the opposite is true. The more I have learned about myself, the more power I have absorbed. The truths have elicted more courage and strength through which I am able to take the steps to transformation.

I don't know what opened so many doors for me that day. Was it the 1500th day of walking intentionally with you? Was it a new openness to truth? Was it the gratitude I was expressing for your infinite number of good gifts? Was it my desire to get to the "bottom" of things? Was it simply grace that grabbed hold? Life is a mystery, O God; however, what I do know is that my awareness of your loving presence is teaching me invaluable life lessons.

All praise
and glory
to you,
Mighty and Powerful God!
Your love
has ushered me
into yet
another new day.
Resurrection is
taking hold
more and more
each day.
As I
trust you more
and myself,
I am
being empowered
to live
a victorious life
by your grace.

I am loving you, Andrea