Monday, October 19, 2009

My dearest God,

What is faith if not a gesture of belief with flesh on it? What is faith if not applied to every life circumstance? What is faith if not a living trust in you?

Just like DNA faith lives in every cell. It lives and breathes with humanity's whole being. Faith is an acceptance that my life is more than me. Faith emerges from creation's seed. Faith is a holy wholeness, a reality larger than life itself. Faith is both a noun we can describe but also a verb that carries action and movement. Faith is a living reality, one shared between God and humanity, between you and me.

Sometimes I operate as if I have no faith at all. I stumble and struggle. I wrestle with what I want something to be even though it is not able. I try to will something to be what it is not. I cannot accept certain realities because I haven't yet let go, surrendered the old beliefs, hopes and dreams. Faith is trusting you, following you, being obedient to the challenge and the call. Faith is taking your hand and letting go. It is letting death take place because new life cannot take root without the seed that comes from death. Resurrection comes as death gives way. New life must be totally new; yet, it carries with it yesterday's death, the surrender. If Autumn's flowers do not die, there will be no spring blooms.

When a flower dies, there is a trust that a new flower will emerge once again. There is a trust in the process of metamorphosis, of transformation. There is a belief that the plant will reproduce, bringing new life and beauty once again.

My life's great challenge is to operate out of faith, to wholly trust in you, to be willing to be lead by your spirit, to inquire of your desire. Faith is living your will and accepting the joy that will come.

Holy and Living God,
I struggle
to be
your own.
Some days
I walk
the pilgrim journey
alone;
I refuse
to follow you,
to take
your hand,
to trust,
to let go.
And yet,
my heart
cries out
for you.
Teach me,
O Lord,
teach me
your glorious way.

Love, Andrea