Friday, October 9, 2009

My dearest God,

Like rock layers in the earth, there are emotional layers in the human soul. The surface is an image projected by the human mind. I look like this, my image states, I am like this. The surface can be pricked, scratched. I can feel hurt, a first level pain which requires a short time for healing.

The next level is one of a secondary nature. My first level pain when scraped too deeply leads me to the next layer. This can involve emotions like anger and resentment. Healing this layer requires a little longer.

Third level pain includes bitterness, rage, and listing hope. This pain is an serious infection of the heart. Healing can take an extended amount of time.

But it is the fourth level of pain that is so critical. The heart, mind and body are all infected. Hopelessness and despair live here and threaten the whole being. This level of pain can lead the whole person into shock from which recovery is uncertain. If healing is to take place, the Master will be needed to lead from the inside out.

Like back pain that starts in the lower back and moves across and down all the way to the foot bringing extreme pain and numbness, the only way for healing to be accomplished is to do the work that moves the pain from the foot to the calf and then up to the thigh and finally back to the site of the original problem. Only then will the pain subside and the body be restored. In the same way for true healing to take place in the human soul, a fourth level pain will have to be addressed before the third level will have a chance and so on.

I have spent what seemed an eternity at the fourth level. In fact I went months at a time in this deep layer where the light hardly shines. My sense of self, my connection to humanity and my well being have been rocked and my foundation crumbled. So deeply enmeshed in my troubles it was difficult, no, impossible to see the light of day. I fought to live. I fought to die.

In recent weeks I have sensed the movement upward. My fourth level pain is subsiding. I have chosen to live and work hard to recover. I believe that saints and angels entered this area when all hope was lost. They helped my inner core to begin the process of healing. I feel it. I know it. However, in order for true healing to take place, I have to let go, to surrender certain beliefs that have held me captive. I have to let you do your miracle work.

Not only has heaven's finest been at work in my being's restoration, I have been assisted by a counselor who has helped me refine my expectations, repair my injuries and renew my spirit. My body is finally in sync with my spirit. The two have me on the road to recovery.

Blessed God,
your love
can restore
broken hearts,
broken minds
and broken spirits.
You send
your best
to tend
to our wounds,
our physical,
emotional and
spiritual breakdowns.
Your grace
heals from
the inside out.
Your peace
is the sign
of your
living presence
within us.
In humble gratitude,
I remain yours.

Love, Andrea