Monday, October 12, 2009

My dearest God,

I sat in the third row at Westlake Church. The contemporary band was singing and the congregation was singing along with them with the use of a screen. As I sang along reading the words, I saw a small yellow butterfly fly across the screen. I kept on singing but I noticed it. By the end of the15 minutes of song I saw a second one following the first.

I like yellow. It's a burst of sunshine, a squeeze of lemon. I could frolick in yellow. It is bright and full of hope. I wanted to follow the yellow butterfly.

What came to mind is how much we follow one another. We want to follow what is beautiful and good and full of animation. We are drawn to such things. Like hope, we follow people with hope. Likewise, we can be caught up in hopelessness and people do follow people in hopelessness by taking drugs, joining destructive gangs, hurting others and behaving in deadly ways. What the heck? If there is no hope, then anything goes.

On the other hand as I watched the delicate fluttering on the screen which pictured a green pasture, blue sky and picturesque mountains, I was drawn in. I thought about what it means to soar with hope, to fly in freedom and to rise in joy. I felt light as a feather. I felt joy-full.

I have soared with others who exhibited that kind of joy, my grandmother for example. Her love for you was a thing of beauty to me even as a young child. I found my wings with her. Every time she sat down to read her Upper Room devotional magazine or prayed in the front room, I watched her face. When she fed the hungry from her own garden or read to the blind or helped the needy, I gazed upon godly loveliness. She fluttered all over her church by playing the organ as a volunteer for 60 years. I was enthralled as she played the old upright piano as we grandkids sang for as long as we wanted. During such moments there was a whole string of tiny butterflies rising and gliding in the sky.

What struck me the most by watching that spot of yellow on the screen in church was how faith is catchy. Faith is beautiful; it is awesome and striking. Faith liberates. It is the breath of wind, the life source that inspires the flight. I was caught by that spirit breeze one day and I have followed ever since. Oh, I have had many times when I was grounded by doubt and fear, moments when my heart was weak and my mind focused on the darkness only. I could not find my way up. In the darkness the air was still and heavy. I felt pushed down, unable to move into the adventure. I felt trapped by death.

But then you breathed on me and at once I rose upward. As I felt life surging through me, I
felt a new strength and courage. I began to move my wings, realizing they were still there. With a life-giving gulp of air, I felt a resurgence of faith beckoning me to move. In those spirit-filled moments, I spread my wings and began to fly, not alone but with you. Like a teeny spot of yellow, I followed in your jetstream. Talk about soaring at unknown heights! Wow!

Breathe on me,
breath of God,
be the air
beneath my wings.
Give me courage
to rise
and fall
with you.
Color me
with your beauty
that others
will be drawn
to fly,
to soar
like eagles
in updrafts.
Help us all
to catch
the wind
of your spirit.

Love, Andrea