Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dearest God,

Trust, where did I learn trust? A godly grandmother taught me about trusting you. In her simple ways she exhibited a deep trust in you. She prayed and believed her prayers were heard. Because she believed you loved her, she trusted your promise to love her forever. Therefore, she expressed her love to others based on that simple understanding.

I am being called to trust like never before. You are asking me to prove my faithfulness by submitting myself to your will. As I found myself spiraling downward for months, eventually I felt myself being caught in the divine net. I had to trust that I would go no further but acting in faith I had to take steps of trust in order for healing to begin. That process has continued, taking me to new heights of understanding. I am looking at myself in this new light.

As healing took place over time, at some point my actions took on more responsible behavior. I recognized that my gain had come by trusting you to help me. I learned more about myself, my own foibles but also my strengths. I accepted them as gifts and found renewed courage to wrestle with my flawed expectations, attitudes and actions. As I discovered hidden truths, I struggled to rise to higher levels of faith. I trusted more in you, in myself and in others. As I tested out my new wings, I allowed the breath of your spirit to lift me higher and higher where I was able to see more and more. Flying among the saints and angels I grabbed hold of precious gems like discernment, insight, illumination and wisdom. As I settled back to earth, I took hold of the reigns of my life trusting your grace to lead me.

Holy God,
Almighty and Everlasting,
I rest
at your feet.
Like Mary
I simply
want to remain,
to listen,
to marvel,
and to ask
for courage
to trust you more.
I want
to live
a life
of faith,
knowing that
my steps
have followed
the feet
of the Master.
Make it so,
dear God,
I pray.

Love, Andrea