Sunday, February 14, 2010

My dearest God,

What is prayer if there is no divine connection with you? Wasted words, a dull, useless activity that brings no result but frustration, disappointment and anger. What is prayer if there is no sacred power to transform both the prayerer and the prayed for?

This morning as I was praying a flash of memory came to me. I saw my mother lonely, weeping. Odd, I don't really remember my mother ever crying when I was a child. She had to be lonely because my father was always gone, at first with the war, then working three jobs, and finally traveling for long periods of time. I do remember her frustration.

These past many years, especially these last months I have been putting together a puzzle of sorts. At first I looked for pieces to the puzzle, sometimes waiting a long time to find a single piece but that was only part of the exercise. Once I had the pieces, I had to find each piece's place. Without a picture, how do you put puzzle pieces together? I have trouble helping a grandchild with a 14-piece Fisher Price puzzle.

But this morning as I lay praying, communicating with you, you spoke to me, revealing not only pieces but also their placement. When I prayed for clarity, I prayed for a long time to see and to understand. When the waters were murky, the veil was in place or the fog remained, I was not able to get the answers to my prayers. I was frustrated like my mother and I think just as lonely.

But in your time and wisdom you revealed to me what I needed to know.

What power
is there
without heaven?
What time
is right
without eternity?
Time, space
and power
belong to you,
Most Gracious
Heavenly Father.
When in earnest
we pray,
you come
to us.
And I
dare say
it is not
the answers
to our prayers
that we
long for
that is
so important
to us
but rather
the sweet communion
with you.
The gifts
of this morning
mean so much
but the
greater gift
is that
you cared enough
to reveal
what I
could not see
or hear before.
How sweet
is your love,
dear God,
how sweet.

Love always, Andrea