Monday, July 18, 2011

Dear God,

Some days life seems good, predictable with plans made and orchestrated. On those days I step into shoes that know the path I need to trod. I check my list, do my tasks, scratch through line items when they are finished and at the end of the day I feel good for what I have done.

But some days are not like that. I may start out just fine but then something will happen, disrupt my plans, lay me low, and with little or no energy, I stop in midstream and rest. With soaring heat and high humidity, I feel the slipping away of energy that I cannot stop. I surrender to it because any other action will take the last wisps of energy from me.

As I continue to battle an unending health problem, I realize there are some things I cannot control, cannot change. In those moments I have to acknowledge my dependence upon you. The one thing that constantly reassures me is the loving grace you provide, a gift so rich that the finest diamonds, most beautiful paintings, and all the money in the world cannot buy. Quietly I fall back into your arms.

As my life first unfolded, I dreamed as a child dreams. I wanted to fly, I told my parents one day. I want to be an airlines stewardess so I could fly. I've been in places I never dreamed I would visit: Russia, Greece, France, Italy, Ghana, Sweden, Switzerland, England and more. While these continue to speak to me of wonder, joy, friendship, and beauty, the places where I have soared have been places where the spirit has lifted me on the wings of eagles.

So often spiritual moments, high holy experiences of the spirit have come unplanned, unexpected. I have had to pause whatever I was doing to meet you. One thing of which I am certain is this: a moment with you in unexplored territory has always been better than anything else I was doing.

Remind me again
and again,
O Lord,
to trust you,
to be willing
to stop,
to look,
and listen
for you.
I never want
to miss
even the
smallest amount
of time
with you.

Love, Andrea