Thursday, April 23, 2009

Dearest God,

Compassionate mercy rained from heaven. Sitting at your feet, making my confession and hearing the words of grace steadied my soul. My butterflies gave way to peace.

Trust is a commodity I have to exhibit when I try to live my life of faith. I cannot act as if I am my own god. I cannot act as if I am self sufficient. Humility stands always at the door of faith. I cannot get around it. I must humble myself and walk through if I am to stand in your presence.

Ashamed, feeling my own sense of failure, I stutter and stammer to tell you the truth. I know I cannot hold back even a shred of the truth. I must say it all, get it out before something else takes root in my soul and begins to rot any goodness within me. I am never disappointed in what I find although I see more clearly my own sin and disappointment wells up within me.

In your eyes I see myself as I am and I am enabled to take the first step toward healing.

Grace,
that unadulterated act
of forgiveness
shatters my own need
to punish myself.
Your free gift
reminds me
that life
is a series
of failures
and fallings,
failures
to live life
in your light
and fallings
into your arms.
Your light
has shined
upon me
once again.
I see
my blemishes
and flaws;
yet,
I witness
your miracle light
penetrating my sin
breaking down
the clots
of evil
and deceit.
With confession
I watch
your loving grace
at work
restoring and renewing
my soul.
I am
so unworthy,
Loving Christ,
and yet,
you heap
upon me
your forgiving power.

I shall always be yours, Andrea