Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My dearest God,

When I hear of sin imposed on children in the church, when innocence is taken, and horrors take place to greatly damage the soul, I wonder if it really is the church. I wonder why evil and corruption prey on children while others look away.

As I hear the latest allegations of sexual abuse in the church, I want to vomit. I want to cry, to shout and scream and ask for miracles for those who have been hurt. When I hear of a priest alledgedly sexually abusing hundreds of deaf boys in a school over 25 years, tears flood my eyes. When I hear that the vatican allowed the priest to die a peaceful death in his last months instead of charging him with such atrocities, I say I don't know this church. I cannot get deeper than the sin.

I believe with all my heart the light can shine into the deepest darkness to mend, to heal, to restore, renew and revive people. Yet, I cannot understand why any of us would choose the darkness rather than the light. Why would we give way to urges to destroy?

As I consider the man who 50 years ago was abused by this priest and still continues his fight to defrock him, I believe the man stands in the light to ask for justice and I wonder where the church of Christ I know and believe in is. I believe in mercy and compassion but also in fairness, truth and justice. How can the church be love when it is also a monster?

Dearest Christ,
what is it
within us
that seeks
to hurt others?
What depravity
resides within us
that causes us
to strike,
to ruin
and destroy?
Because I
am part
of the church,
I do
not understand.
How do
we reconcile
the hurts
caused by
the "church"?
How do
we stop
the injustice?
How do
we heal
and help?

Love, Andrea