Saturday, June 29, 2013

Dear God,

I thought I had it licked!  I thought we had discovered the answer to my health problems.  I thought I was cured.

Sometimes we think we will live forever.  We shun the thought of being sick as we age.  We surmise we will look and feel well until the day we drop.  We complain when we become ill. We assume you will keep us in tip top shape all our many years.  You make the human body strong, flexible, and capable of healing itself.  Yet, our bodies are fragile, delicate works of art.  Without proper care our bodies will fail us.

Today I had yet another episode.  When the temperature and humidity rise to a certain level, my body cannot do what most others do and so they steal my energy.  I feel it drain away without an apparatus to hold on.  I get depleted, my strength ebbs, and I grow weak.  I cannot stop it.  Although a highly energetic person I can do nothing more than rest, conserve energy, and allow my body to soak in love from above.

I had forgotten my doctor told me we would not really know if our plan to eradicate my problem would work.  He told me it would be months before I would know.  Wait until summer; you will know then.  I have gone about my life with a positive attitude and acted as if I were completely healed.  I am not.

Through the ups and downs of my life, the disappointments, hurts, various health difficulties, painful relationships, and more, I learned to trust you.  I came to the realization that life is not perfect but you are.  Your love is constant, faithful, ready, and full.  You give your mercy so freely.  You are not broken.  You have not given so much away that you are empty by the time I ask.  You assure me I am yours and you challenge me to live hopefully, positively, and courageously.  You help me see the goodness in every day living.  It is true there are silver linings in scary storms, even in life.

Thank you,
Most Gracious God,
thank you
for reminding me
to rely
on you.
Teach me again
the ways
of faith
revealing the truth
that can
set me free.
Let my joy
bubble over
even in
the midst
of uncertainty.
Give me
the capacity
to live
a thankful life.
Let me be
a blessing.

Love, Andrea