Christmas Thursday, December 25, 2014

Dear Beloved Christ,

We get to choose...the blessed eternal gift, the light that shines in the darkest dark or the other one.  Last night I received the blessed gift.  I was full to overflowing.  I knew my hour of visitation.  Your son, the Messiah, the comforter, the Prince of Peace came in all his glory.  I fell to sleep in the midst of his presence knowing how blessed I was.

This early morning while I read my devotion I sat in the eternal glow of last night and the happy glow of my lighted Christmas tree.  I let my joy-filled tears rise up.  I basked in gratitude.

Seconds later I thought of my disappointments, two daughters who opted to reject my special gift this Christmas, a granddaughter whose poor decision started a chain reaction of anger and resentment in our family, and the way in which our family chose not to come together at our home today, a family tradition ever since my girls were born, some forty odd years.  I began to feel sad, allowing my own resentment to fill me up.  I gave in.

Not one to give up, you invited me to stop, pause, and think.  Which gift do you want, my child, because you can't have both.  You can't have joy overflowing, grace upon grace, hope, peace, and well being and hurt, disappointment, sadness, and resentment at the same time.  If you choose both, then the greatest gift, the light of Lights will dim and fade.  If you choose the other, it will not only fade, it will slowly die out like an ember left by itself on the fireplace hearth.  If you choose the better gift, then I will help you overcome all the emotions left over from the conflict.  I battled a bit knowing the truth of what you spoke.  You left me quietly to reflect.

Wondrous God,
your tender care
on Christmas morning
reminds me
to grab hold
of faith.
You helped me realize
there is
all the time
in the world
to be judgmental,
unhappy, and resentful
if we choose it.
But you also
asked me
to consider
the greater gift,
shaped by your own hands.
How grateful I am,
Blessed God;
how grateful I am.

Love, Andrea