Saturday, October 22, 2016

Dear God,

"Do I carry Jesus within me?"  When I read the line from the new book, A Call to Mercy about Mother Teresa, I stopped dead in my tracks.  Do I carry Jesus within me?  My answer was quick.  No, not right now.  My tongue is swift to judge, to criticize, and to complain.  Warm tears filled my eyes as I realized my own sinful condition.  I picked up the other book lying on my lap, Psalms for Praying - An Invitation to Wholeness and randomly opened it to Psalm 39.  More of the same, yet a prayer for help.

It is so easy to lift up the sins of others, complaining about something or other while hardening our own heart.  We may not even be aware of the depth of our situation until an angel points out the truth.  It's your way of causing us to pause, to assess, and to consider a different direction.

I was glad for my own tears.  I felt a release, an understanding.  For the most part I know what is going on in my own life but when I get too far away from the center, mercifully you call to me.  You give me opportunity to think, to cry, to let go, to take your hand, and to reflect upon a change.  It is then and only then I comprehend that I allowed the messiness all around me to make its way into my soul and I squeezed you into a corner where I could barely see you, know you were with me.

The woman who carried Jesus to the sick and dying, abandoned children, the lost and lonely and anyone else in her path who needed help was the angel who spoke to me this morning.  Mother Teresa helped me clear some debris from my soul so I could make space, holy space just for you.

Blessed God,
thank you
for Mother Teresa,
her witness,
and her
continuing call
to carry Jesus.
Thank you
for quiet moments
pregnant with possibility
for truth telling,
repentance,
and reconstruction.
Thank you
for mercy
that is always
an occasion
for hope,
peace, and love.

Love always, Andrea