Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My dearest God,

You have put a song into my heart, one that continues to play over and over. I didn't ask for it. It just came.

"Why should I feel discouraged? Why should the shadows come? Why should my heart be lonely and long for heaven and home? When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is he: His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me; his eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me." The same words roll over and over in my head. I just find myself humming the tune. I know I am the sparrow.

Such gifts come to me frequently. I find an answer on my shoulder. An insight pops up. A calming peace will enter my soul. Hope will come. Faith grows.

Your attention to your children is mind boggling. You do care, deeply.

I find myself deepening my roots. I let them down, surrendering them to the soil of your love. I feel the stretch, the tug, the pull of growth. And yet, I feel the pain of that growth. Trusting you will allow me to let go, permitting you to do the necessary work on my soul. This winter season of the soul is perhaps the most important time of all.

I am changing;
I feel it.
The change
can be rewarding
but it is painful.
I am leaving
something behind,
a part
of myself.
But it is time
to let go.

Love, Andrea