Saturday, October 2, 2010

Dear God,

You have taught me many valuable life lessons. Today as I dug deep in the earth to plant oriental lilly bulbs, I remembered again the value of digging dip into your spirit. Six to eight inches seemed really deep and dark to me. As I closed the rich soil over potential bloomers, I thought of the great value of darkness.

How many times have you taken me by the hand and walked me into the valley of the shadow of death? In the darkness I was afraid, unsure where I was headed and how long I would be there. While at times the act alone lead me into moments of despair, I remembered former times when darkness was where I found you and you taught me.

In the last few years I spent a good deal of time in the darkness. I was truly alone except for your spirit. I did not share much with anyone around me as I realized that the greater moments of learning occur when I let go of those who would hold on to me keeping me from the lessons of faith. I surrender them to find you waiting. I gave you my full attention because you called for it.

I discovered the dance of darkness is the dance of faith. As I learned the steps of the divine, I realized I was following you. I was in the darkness because I did not know the steps but you did. As I entered the dark space, you extended your hand not because I was better than anyone else but because I reached out often in fear and trepidation. I did know where to go.

The greatest learnings of life have come from you, dear God. Out of gracious compassion and mercy, you called out to me and fortunately I heard your voice. Without direction in my own existence I turned and walked to you. Although all was dark around me, your voice was enough to catch my attention. Just to know you were there and that I was not alone was and continues to be one of my most valuable life lessons.

You are
the author
of goodness
in my life,
Holy Father.
Your gentle ways
call out
to my vulnerability
and build trust.
Thank you
for lilly bulbs
that speak
great volumes
to me.
Thank you
for taking
the ordinary
to teach me
the extraordinary lessons
of life.
I love you,
Great God;
I love you.

Always, Andrea