Sunday, May 30, 2021
One woman pastor's continuing journey to find God in the mundane and the ordinary,the suffering and the celebration.
Dear God,
There is a theme in my life that I believe you put there. You have charged me with the process of transformation. I led women's spiritual retreats for three decades. Always they were about transformation. I renovate furniture, my home and old things. I have been clearing, cleaning and giving new life to my woods where a spiritual path winds through it leading both to the Mousam River and to your spiritual hermitage. In every case you have inspired and moved me to remake, reshape and renew. Although I don't always have the skills to fully and beautifully change things, you whisper things to me to show me how and where and when to learn. I do what I do because you ask me to.
Dear God,
Dear God,
Dear God,
Dearest God,
Dear God,
I received the most wonderful note from a grandson who has struggled for a long time. At the hour of his 30th birthday he wrote telling me he had turned his life around and was doing great. Tears slipped down my cheeks when I thought of how he finally rose up and claimed a new life.
It is not easy to change, to surrender old, ugly habits and to grab hold of something fresh, new and life-giving. Sometimes we wait a very long time before we trust you to help us. But when we do, when we breathe in the air of change and find goodness, beauty and confidence, we know that we know that we know you have been the power under our wings.
Dear God,
Dear God,
When I arrived home, I stepped into the kitchen looking out the window onto my contemplative garden. What I witnessed saddened me. My beautiful serviceberry tree had split. Half the tree lay on the ground. Apparently another part of the trunk had fallen earlier and someone had dragged it to the back of our property. The last part of the tree is leaning and will soon fall.
Dear God,
Who can save us from our fears and anxieties? Who can change the forces inside us that informs our fears? Who can bring calm, peace and hope?
Dear God,
Dear God,
Dear God,
Dear God,
Trusting you can give us power, courage, confidence, hope, direction, guidance and help. It can instill within us an ability to do what we think is impossible. Trusting you can build faith, wisdom and even a new life.
Dear God,
I want to be part of your story, O Lord. Without you and faith in my life, I would be part of a story not worth telling.
Yesterday I dug up another decades-old marble in the land that is centuries old. It was my 41st marble. My husband and I are just two temporary inhabitants here in Maine. As I have cleaned and cleared debris outside my two-hundred year old home, I have discovered many objects from a child's rusted stove to a toy soldier to broken glass and pottery, barbed wire and a silver spoon. Each of these has a story.
Dearest God,
My grandchild dreams of taking her own life. At age 16 she is extremely bright with a 4.0 average at school. She is articulate, caring, beautiful and holds much promise for the future but her inner demons, whatever they are, fight to claim her life.
Dear God,
Just this moment as I was thinking of your kindness, you brought to mind one of the greatest gifts I ever received. It was evening on December 25, 1997. I was feeling exhausted, afraid and anxious. The next morning I was scheduled for a radical mastectomy. As I lay in bed next to my husband, he put his arm around me and began singing hymns to me. His love and yours sunk down deep into my soul quieting my spirit and helping me slip into sleep. I will always remember that tender kindness at a time when I desperately needed comfort and peace.
I can think of many times when you came to me offering help, guidance, insight, healing and hope. By the way they came to me, I knew your hand was in every instance. I felt such incredible blessing just knowing you were with me, loving and caring.
Dear God,
Dear God,